Many media around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantage out weigh the disadvantage?
Social
media
is used everyday
by many individuals around the Replace the word
every day
global
in order to stay in touch with other users and update Replace the word
globe
news
events. This
author believed that the advantages of unlimit
Correct your spelling
unlimited
distance
conection
and its Correct your spelling
connection
comfortable are
outweigh the Wrong verb form
comfort
drawback
of lost personal Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
information
.
Starting with the banefit
of Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
unlimit
Correct your spelling
unlimited
distance
connection. In other words
, social media
appeared everywhere in the world so it is far easier for people
to keep in touch with each other without distance
. For example
, a person who lives in Vietnam can connect and communicate with relatives settled in UK
by using video Correct article usage
the UK
call
on social Fix the agreement mistake
calls
media
. Moreover
, social networking also
comfortable for users. To explain, Add a missing verb
is also
people
can easily get news
events just by read
some status or articles that have Change the form of the verb
reading
shared
on social Add a missing verb
been shared
platform
and it Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
totally
free for everyone. Add a missing verb
is totally
For instance
, some people
have to find out the location that
they sell Correct word choice
where
news paper
there Correct your spelling
newspaper
while
social media
users just open the social networking website from a device which has connected to Wifi.
However
, it still have
Change the verb form
has
disadvantage
of being lost personal Add an article
the disadvantage
information
on the Internet. It can be know
that individuals may Wrong verb form
known
lost
their personal Change the verb form
lose
be lost
information
by click
Change the form of the verb
clicking
to
a link or a website that the scammers Change preposition
on
had
made. Yet it can Wrong verb form
have
be solve
by carefully Change the verb form
be solved
check
the link or website before Wrong verb form
checking
access
it. Wrong verb form
accessing
Consequently
, social media
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
people
ahead not behide
.
Correct your spelling
behind
To conclude
, social
Correct article usage
the social
platfrom's
Change noun form
platform'
advantage
which are Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
umlimit
Correct your spelling
limited
distance
connection and comfortable
for Replace the word
comfort
update
Wrong verb form
updating
news
events can
outweigh the Verb problem
apply
disadvantage
of lost personal Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
information
which can be fix
easily.Change the verb form
be fixed
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task achievement
Ensure to address both advantages and disadvantages more comprehensively and substantively. Try to provide a sophisticated balance between both views.
coherence & cohesion
Consider using paragraphing more effectively to enhance readability. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, with a clear topic sentence to introduce it.
coherence & cohesion
Integrate a wider variety of cohesive devices beyond 'Moreover,' 'For example,' etc. Experimenting with synonyms and paraphrasing can also help connect ideas more smoothly.
coherence & cohesion
Work on typo errors ('unlimit' should be 'unlimited', 'banefit' should be 'benefit', etc.) and grammatical mistakes to improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.
task achievement
Introduce a wider range of examples and evidence to support your arguments more convincingly. Make sure these examples are specific and relevant to the question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.