Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In nowadays modern society,
inviduals
in the world use Correct your spelling
individuals
Correct article usage
a wid
wid
range of social Correct your spelling
wide
media
as a tool to contact with
other Change preposition
apply
people
and collect social problem events. This
writer of the essay believed that the useful
of social Replace the word
usefulness
media
was
outweighed the Unnecessary verb
apply
disadvatage
of it.
The most important factor of using social Correct your spelling
disadvantage
disadvantages
media
is that can be connected to everybody all over the world. First of all, social network is the
good way for children to keep in touch with their parents, Correct article usage
a
it
can be used for calling and texting, Correct pronoun usage
they
prevent
children from Wrong verb form
preventing
stressful
because of Correct word choice
becoming stressed
the
nostalgia. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, students who study abroad always
Add a missing verb
are always
be homesickness
so Facebook or Zalo Wrong verb form
homesick
as
a solution for them to connect with their parents.
Another feature considered advantage of social Correct your spelling
is
media
is that contain
a surge of knowledge for learners to Correct subject-verb agreement
contains
make
research. As it Verb problem
do
connect
with Change the verb form
connects
Internet
, it Add an article
the Internet
give
us the ability Change the verb form
gives
of
search for the direction to solve the problem we encounter in education or life. Some typical cases include looking up to hard exercises we can do or everything like that.
Change preposition
to
However
, both things have two edges, many users aren't wise enough to filter the real information. Moreover
, some types of sources contain information is
offensive, harassing or bullying Correct pronoun usage
that is
in
the Internet, so Change preposition
on
people
can be deterred from illegal actions on the Internet. Therefore
, young people
can stuck in bad habits while
in the formation process.
In conclusion, it is true to concede that utilizing social media
can have more benefits in people
's lives, and it can cater for people
's lives if they know how to use it in the right way.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay introduces a clear position and maintains this throughout the text, but further development of ideas with more specific examples could strengthen your argument. To improve task achievement, ensure every paragraph clearly contributes to your argument and include more detailed examples to illustrate your points. Avoid broad statements by dissecting your argument into smaller, precise points supported by examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Overall, your essay shows an ability to organize ideas logically, but there's room for improvement in making your writing more coherent and cohesive. To enhance coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, clearly stated in the first sentence, followed by supporting sentences. For cohesion, work on linking words and phrases ('Furthermore,' 'However,' 'As a result,') more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments. Avoid abrupt jumps between ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.