IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

ith the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. DO ADV >< DISADV

#ith #development #technology #machines #work #people #adv #disadv
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There is a phenomenon of mechanical workers dominating the workforce. The writer indicates that the drawbacks of increasing unemployment rates
is
Change the verb form
are
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 outweighed by the benefit of boosting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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productivity and new
product
Use synonyms
 creation Alleviating work strain is one of the most beneficial aspects of using
machines
Use synonyms
. To be more specific, a quality
product
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 made by hand needs a lot of time and effort, so it will put
a
Remove the article
apply
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substantial pressure on the workers.
Instead
Linking Words
, by having
machines
Use synonyms
 with painstaking accuracy and speed, the amount of
products
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 will increase efficiency.
As a result
Linking Words
, the workers just need to recheck the
product
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, which
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
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 less time than making a
product
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 manually The high opportunities
of
Change preposition
for
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 creating new
products
Use synonyms
 must be taken into consideration. It must be recognized that with the replacement of
machines
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, the workforce
are
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is
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 more likely to have more free time to take advantage of their creativity. These people are capable of using their
brain
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brains
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 to create new
products
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, leading to
the
Correct article usage
an
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 increase in various types of
products
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.
This
Linking Words
 will not only satisfy the demand of the customers but
also
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 increase the revenue of a specific organization or person.
However
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, some
skeptics
Change the spelling
sceptics
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 argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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automation replacement leads many people to be unemployed. Companies have a
destine
Replace the word
destiny
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 to employ
machines
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 rather than
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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due to
Linking Words
 the advantages
such
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 as non-stop operation,
high
Correct word choice
and high
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 efficiency, which means no
labors
Replace the word
labourers
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 are employed to do the work, directly leading to unemployment. Taking all points into account, alleviating woke pressure and customer satisfaction clearly outweigh the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
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 of joblessness.
Hence
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, it is more beneficial to use
machine
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machines
show examples
instead
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 of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 in doing work.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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Structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should clearly state your main argument or stance on the topic. Your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your main argument in light of the evidence presented.
Coherence
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that main idea. Use cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, however, for example) to link your ideas and paragraphs together smoothly.
Content
For task achievement, make sure that you fully address the question prompt and that your argument is balanced, considering both sides of the issue before concluding. Provide specific examples to support your points and develop your argument fully.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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