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ith the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. DO ADV >< DISADV

#ith #development #technology #machines #work #people #adv #disadv
There is a phenomenon of mechanical workers dominating the workforce. The writer indicates that the drawbacks of increasing unemployment rates
is
Change the verb form
are
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 outweighed by the benefit of boosting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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productivity and new
product
 creation Alleviating work strain is one of the most beneficial aspects of using
machines
. To be more specific, a quality
product
 made by hand needs a lot of time and effort, so it will put
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
substantial pressure on the workers.
Instead
, by having
machines
 with painstaking accuracy and speed, the amount of
products
 will increase efficiency.
As a result
, the workers just need to recheck the
product
, which
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
show examples
 less time than making a
product
 manually The high opportunities
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 creating new
products
 must be taken into consideration. It must be recognized that with the replacement of
machines
, the workforce
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more likely to have more free time to take advantage of their creativity. These people are capable of using their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
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 to create new
products
, leading to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increase in various types of
products
.
This
 will not only satisfy the demand of the customers but
also
 increase the revenue of a specific organization or person.
However
, some
skeptics
Change the spelling
sceptics
show examples
 argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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automation replacement leads many people to be unemployed. Companies have a
destine
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destiny
show examples
 to employ
machines
 rather than
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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due to
 the advantages
such
 as non-stop operation,
high
Correct word choice
and high
show examples
 efficiency, which means no
labors
Replace the word
labourers
show examples
 are employed to do the work, directly leading to unemployment. Taking all points into account, alleviating woke pressure and customer satisfaction clearly outweigh the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 of joblessness.
Hence
, it is more beneficial to use
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
instead
 of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 in doing work.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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Structure
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Coherence
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that main idea. Use cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, however, for example) to link your ideas and paragraphs together smoothly.
Content
For task achievement, make sure that you fully address the question prompt and that your argument is balanced, considering both sides of the issue before concluding. Provide specific examples to support your points and develop your argument fully.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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