IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #media #touch #news #events #technology
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Social
media
 has become a very essential part of the community's daily lives and the dependency on the same has increased drastically over the
last
 decade.The writer believes that social
media
 have the benefits of connecting
people
globallly
Correct your spelling
globally
 and learning about the newest information,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 have it drawback of addiction. One of the most noticeable advantages of social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 í to bridge the gap of
people
 on
global
Add an article
a global
show examples
 scale.The use of social forums helps
people
 meet
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 with
simelaar
Correct your spelling
similar
 interests and
personalites
Correct your spelling
personalities
personality
 around the world.
For example
,the app called Instagram is a social
media
 that
allowed
Wrong verb form
allows
show examples
 individuals to share
imgae
Correct your spelling
image
images
,
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
 or
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
show examples
 with a user's specific range of categories
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with
people
 in their common.
Thus
,online society
other
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
more easily and selectively
However
,a number of individuals argue that using social
media
 can cause t addiction.On online forums,browsing on
telegram
Capitalize word
Telegram
show examples
 for some social purposes can cause children to become addicted the social networks.
As a result
, their study rate may decrease in a sensible way.
To sum up
, social
media
 has a number of effects on human life to
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 time with each other and
exchange
Wrong verb form
exchanging
show examples
 information in daily life even though there are some disadvantages for
people
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear structure by having distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Use linking words to connect paragraphs and sentences smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Introduce the topic clearly in the introduction and state your opinion. In the conclusion, summarize the key points neatly and restate your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure you fully answer the question by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in detail. It's crucial to balance your essay by equally addressing both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express your ideas more effectively. Avoid repetition and strive for clarity in your writing.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. Real-life examples, statistics, or studies can add more weight to your claims and make your essay more engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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