Many people now have the freedom to work and live anywhere because of advances in communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Due to
significant
achievement
Fix the agreement mistake
achievements
show examples
of advances in technology and
tranportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
, remote working is quite common at the moment all over the world. Many advantages are followed by changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. For the
workers
, they can manage their working time more efficiently.
For example
, if the worker prefers working at night than working at daytime, they can work at night. Freedom of working time can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to efficiency.
Furthermore
, they do not generate
carbon
Correct article usage
a carbon
show examples
footprint by not riding vehicles to heading the office, and that
gives
Verb problem
has
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
effective
Replace the word
effect
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
as well.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
the point of view of the
company
, saving management
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
is the most valuable for working or living anywhere.
Company
Fix the agreement mistake
Companies
show examples
do not have to support
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
,
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
, and space to work for the
workers
. Even more, some countries which determine salary by worker's resident,
such
as
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, can reduce human resource salary, which
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounts
show examples
for
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
amount of expenditures of the
company
.
Thus
, working remotely has several disadvantages either. Chatting online can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
to inefficiency of communications, which is severe damage for the
company
. To solve
this
, Some companies
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
hybrid
Correct article usage
a hybrid
show examples
working
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
,
for example
, 3 days at home and 2 days at
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
, to make the balance of advantages and disadvantages. Remote working respects worker's autonomy, Some
workers
could abuse
this
system by not fulfilling their duty.
However
, tools for supporting remote
workers
are enhancing day by day,
therefore
learning and adapting appropriate tools are future homework towards
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fulfilling
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life for all.
Submitted by forbid403 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a good structure, beginning with an introduction, followed by the body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, your ideas could be organised more clearly. Consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea you will discuss.
Task Achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which is good. To further improve, try to develop these examples in more depth. Explain not just what these advantages and disadvantages are, but also why they matter and how they impact individuals and companies.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay addresses the prompt, but your conclusion seems rushed and does not effectively summarize the main points of your argument. To improve your score in task achievement, ensure your conclusion clearly restates your opinion and summarizes the key points made in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!