Many people now have the freedom to work and live anywhere because of advances in communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Due to
significant achievement
of advances in technology and Fix the agreement mistake
achievements
tranportation
, remote working is quite common at the moment all over the world. Many advantages are followed by changes Correct your spelling
transportation
of
Change preposition
in
this
life style
.
For the Correct your spelling
lifestyle
workers
, they can manage their working time more efficiently. For example
, if the worker prefers working at night than working at daytime, they can work at night. Freedom of working time can leads
to efficiency. Change the verb form
lead
Furthermore
, they do not generate carbon
footprint by not riding vehicles to heading the office, and that Correct article usage
a carbon
gives
Verb problem
has
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
effective
Replace the word
effect
to
Change preposition
on
environment
as well.
Add an article
the environment
In
the point of view of the Change preposition
From
company
, saving management cost
is the most valuable for working or living anywhere. Fix the agreement mistake
costs
Company
do not have to support Fix the agreement mistake
Companies
resident
, Fix the agreement mistake
residents
foods
, and space to work for the Fix the agreement mistake
food
workers
. Even more, some countries which determine salary by worker's resident, such
as USA
, can reduce human resource salary, which Correct article usage
the USA
accounted
for Wrong verb form
accounts
significant
amount of expenditures of the Add an article
a significant
company
.
Thus
, working remotely has several disadvantages either. Chatting online can leads
to inefficiency of communications, which is severe damage for the Wrong verb form
lead
company
. To solve this
, Some companies adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
hybrid
working Correct article usage
a hybrid
type
, Fix the agreement mistake
types
for example
, 3 days at home and 2 days at office
, to make the balance of advantages and disadvantages.
Remote working respects worker's autonomy, Some Add an article
the office
workers
could abuse this
system by not fulfilling their duty.
However
, tools for supporting remote workers
are enhancing day by day, therefore
learning and adapting appropriate tools are future homework towards to
fulfilling Change preposition
apply
quality
of Correct article usage
the quality
the
life for all.Correct article usage
apply
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a good structure, beginning with an introduction, followed by the body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, your ideas could be organised more clearly. Consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea you will discuss.
Task Achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which is good. To further improve, try to develop these examples in more depth. Explain not just what these advantages and disadvantages are, but also why they matter and how they impact individuals and companies.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay addresses the prompt, but your conclusion seems rushed and does not effectively summarize the main points of your argument. To improve your score in task achievement, ensure your conclusion clearly restates your opinion and summarizes the key points made in your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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