IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Walking is known to be beneficial for health but these days the number of people walking has reduced a lot. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this situation?

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One of the useful activities for body health is walking but nowadays the number of
people
Use synonyms
 tending to walk has fallen strikingly. There seem to be two main causes for
this
Linking Words
 issue and some relevant solutions can be considered to address it fully. It is generally acknowledged that with continuous technological development, individuals can do a diverse range of tasks remotely at their homes,
such
Linking Words
 as shopping, paying bills or even working. There is no longer a need to go out for routine activities.
Additionally
Linking Words
, compared to previous decades more
people
Use synonyms
 have access to private vehicles which leads to fewer citizens walking to their destinations. These reasons pose to trait of a lazy generation for future years. As an illustration, we witness a huge number of overweight individuals
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of physical activities like walking. To persuade
people
Use synonyms
 to do the cheapest and most available sport, walking, there should be some encouraging plans by the authorities. The public needs to be informed about the benefits of walking by advertising shown on TV or the environment.
Moreover
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, some attractions like green areas or walking paths must be provided for individuals in order to make their strolling more enjoyable. The more encouraging areas prepare for walking, the more the population will take part in the activity.
For instance
Linking Words
, we have a strolling path in our neighbourhood called the "Healthy Route" with pleasant views of colourful flowers which attracts almost whole neighbours to walk daily.
To conclude
Linking Words
, considering that modern technologies and private cars pose less movement for daily tasks, some advertisements and encouraging plans could reintroduce walking routines to
people
Use synonyms
 whose tendency has been changed to spend their quality time at their homes doing nothing but using technology rather than walking.

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task response
To enhance the task response, ensure that every detail directly relates to the topic sentence and tie all points back to the thesis statement in the conclusion.
coherence
Improve coherence by using linking phrases consistently throughout the essay. This will help in seamless transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
overall
While your points are clear and supported, consider diversifying your vocabulary and sentence structures to make your ideas more compelling and to avoid repetition.
introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the context and outlines the main points that will be discussed.
conclusion
The conclusion neatly summarizes your points and ties back to the thesis, making your essay feel complete.
supported main points
Your use of specific examples, such as the 'Healthy Route' in your neighborhood, effectively supports your main points and makes your arguments more tangible.
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