Many museums charge for admissions while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
museums
Use synonyms
are well-known for
people
Use synonyms
of all ages because there are many kinds of
museums
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
as history and art.
While
Linking Words
some argue that
museums
Use synonyms
are charging for
people
Use synonyms
,  I will discuss some of the reasons why
museums
Use synonyms
are free and some of the challenges to be overcome. I will start by looking at the pros. One of the main positives of the charge for admission is that it is becoming increasingly popular. What I mean by
this
Linking Words
is that you have the chance to learn anything about historical periods from different books and exhibits.
This
Linking Words
can make it comfortable to get knowledge and money.  
Secondly
Linking Words
, charging admission can lead to a better quality of economy. Take the German
museums
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
. Many
museums
Use synonyms
help governments.
This
Linking Words
country's economy is growing day by day from
museums
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, by charging Admission for
people
Use synonyms
is equality for
each-person
Correct your spelling
each person
show examples
.   Turning to the other side of the
museums
Use synonyms
, that’s to say about free
museums
Use synonyms
. Many
museums
Use synonyms
where invite a lot of
people
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
look
Change preposition
at exhibit
show examples
exhibit
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibits
show examples
and art
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
free situations.
This
Linking Words
will make
people
Use synonyms
happy and comfortable.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
may seriously reduce the risk
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
and government.   Another issue is that it can be
children
Use synonyms
. That’s to say
children
Use synonyms
will not be happy about expensive costs,
such
Linking Words
as, it can dramatically affect
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
health.
This
Linking Words
process is difficult and can lead to death.   All things considered, there are multiple benefits and drawbacks, and everything has its own peak. Yet, I have observed that
people
Use synonyms
and
children
Use synonyms
are more likely
enjoy
Fix the infinitive
to enjoy
show examples
visiting without extra spending. So, to attract
people
Use synonyms
and
children
Use synonyms
, cheap access becomes more perfect than the other.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly and ensure each paragraph links back to your thesis statement. Currently, your essay jumps from one point to another without fully exploring the implications of each argument.
task achievement
Include a definitive stance or opinion in the introduction and ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points and restates your opinion clearly. This will enhance the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your essay by planning paragraphs around single main ideas, supported by specifics. This structure will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Work on sentence structure and punctuation to aid readability. Consider varying sentence length and complexity to create a more engaging and understandable essay.
task achievement
Revisit the topic question and ensure that all parts of the essay directly address the prompt. It's critical to stay focused on answering whether the advantages of charging for museum admission outweigh the disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: