Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are groups of people who
thinks
that it is a good thing to exchange findings and Change the verb form
think
information
of
scientific research, new business ideas and projects and Change preposition
from
also
new study proposals to the world. Whereas
, some assert that there is also
some crucial information
that can't be good to share with public
. I Agree with Correct article usage
the public
Correct article usage
the later
later
viewpoint because some Correct your spelling
latter
information
is to
important so Replace the word
too
its
not a good idea to Replace the word
it's
it is
shared
Change the form of the verb
share
openly
.
Correct pronoun usage
it openly
Firstly
, We live in modern
society and everyone is dependent on each other. So exchanging Correct article usage
a modern
information
is a very good idea to grow rapidly also
more Effective.
Sharing Correct word choice
and also
information
about scientific research and analysis with each other help
us to understand a problem and solve Change the verb form
helps
this
together rather than just one company or country trying to do that difficult staff. In
Change preposition
apply
Additionally
, Business is
Unnecessary verb
apply
also
see
some significant improvement after sharing your thoughts and analysis on some projects. Correct subject-verb agreement
sees
Along with
studies. For instance
. If Nasa
Correct your spelling
NASA
wanna
go to Verb problem
wants to
mars
Capitalize word
Mars
its
so difficult to do by Correct pronoun usage
it
himself
so Correct pronoun usage
itself
its
better to share Correct your spelling
it is
these
Change the determiner
this information
information
with others so both work on that and make it happen.
However
, there are also
some people who believe that information
is not going to share
with each otherWrong verb form
be shared
is good
. Because there are several different things and Verb problem
apply
information
that are secrets and sharing these
Change the determiner
this information
information
openly caused some critical problem
. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
In addition
, every department has there
own secrets and unique and special documents and Correct your spelling
their
also
same with every country. For example
. If the atomic bomb documents released
publicly it will become a serious threat Add a missing verb
are released
through out
the world .
So, in conclusion, Correct your spelling
throughout
Its
important to exchange Correct your spelling
it is
information
and researches
to help each other but Correct subject-verb agreement
research
also
focus on not leaking something that will become a global problem.Through this
technique
I believe Add a comma
technique,
this
world becomes a good place to liveSubmitted by mateentariq582 on
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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, ensure you provide a more complete response by fully discussing both views and giving a clearer personal opinion. You could improve by expanding on each viewpoint with more detailed analysis and by directly linking these discussions to your conclusion for a stronger argumentation.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, try to structure your essay more logically by using clearer paragraph divisions and transitions. Begin with an introduction that outlines the essay, followed by separate paragraphs for each view, and then provide a clear conclusion. Use connecting words to better link ideas within and between paragraphs.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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