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Writing Samples
Band 6

One of the most pressing problems the world is facing today is overpopulation. What are the causes and effects of this problem?

#world #overpopulation #effects
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Overpopulation
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, a critical global challenge, arises from various factors including high birth rates, improved healthcare leading to lower mortality rates, and rural-to-urban migration seeking economic opportunities.
This
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 phenomenon exerts immense pressure on resources and infrastructure, yielding significant repercussions. One notable effect of
overpopulation
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 is the strain on natural resources. Increased demand for water, arable land, and energy sources leads to depletion and environmental degradation, exacerbating issues like water scarcity, deforestation, and pollution.
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 jeopardizes ecosystems, biodiversity, and
overall
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 environmental sustainability.
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,
overpopulation
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 amplifies social and economic disparities. In densely populated areas, limited access to resources and opportunities exacerbates poverty, inequality, and social unrest.
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, overcrowded urban
centers
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centres
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 face challenges like inadequate housing, traffic congestion, and overwhelmed public services, impacting residents' quality of life. To mitigate these challenges, comprehensive strategies are essential. Promoting family planning and reproductive health education empowers individuals to make informed choices about family size, contributing to population stabilization. Sustainable development practices, including renewable energy adoption and conservation efforts, are crucial for resource conservation and environmental preservation.
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, investing in education, particularly for girls, and economic opportunities in rural areas can alleviate migration pressures and foster equitable development. Urban planning initiatives focusing on efficient infrastructure, affordable housing, and green spaces help create livable and resilient cities, accommodating population growth sustainably.
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, addressing
overpopulation
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 necessitates concerted efforts encompassing policy interventions, community engagement, and international cooperation. By prioritizing sustainability, social equity, and environmental stewardship, societies can work towards a more balanced and resilient future.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure to maintain a clear and consistent structure throughout your essay. While your essay demonstrates good structure, further refining paragraph transitions could enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are both present and well-constructed. To further improve, consider adding a more striking or memorable statement in your conclusion to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well supported with explanations, but incorporating more concrete examples or case studies could provide stronger evidence and make arguments more compelling.
task achievement
You've provided a complete response to the question, covering both causes and effects of overpopulation. To achieve a higher score, ensure that each paragraph contains a single clear idea that contributes directly to your overall argument.
task achievement
Your essay outlines comprehensive ideas clearly. For further improvement, consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to articulate ideas more dynamically.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and data where possible to strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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