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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Topic: People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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The ability to
work
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 and live anywhere in the world
due to
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 advancements in communication technology and transportation presents both advantages and disadvantages. Evaluating whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks is crucial. Advantages include increased flexibility and autonomy in lifestyle choices.
Individuals
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 can choose locations based on personal preferences,
such
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 as cost of living, climate, or proximity to family. Remote
work
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 options
also
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 promote
work
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-life balance, allowing
individuals
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 to tailor their environments to maximize productivity and well-being.
Additionally
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, access to global opportunities expands career prospects and fosters professional growth.
Moreover
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,
this
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 development contributes to cultural exchange and diversity. Living in different regions exposes
individuals
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 to diverse cultures, languages, and perspectives, fostering cross-cultural understanding and tolerance.
Furthermore
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, it promotes innovation and collaboration as people from diverse backgrounds come together to exchange ideas and experiences.
However
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, challenges
such
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 as social isolation and
work
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-life boundaries must be considered. Remote
work
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 may lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection
due to
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 reduced face-to-face interaction with colleagues and communities.
Additionally
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, blurred boundaries between
work
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 and personal life may result in overwork and burnout if not managed effectively.
Furthermore
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, reliance on communication technology introduces risks
such
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 as cybersecurity threats and technological dependencies. Connectivity issues and data breaches can disrupt
work
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 and compromise sensitive information, highlighting the importance of robust cybersecurity measures. In conclusion,
while
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 the freedom to
work
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 and live anywhere offers numerous advantages in terms of flexibility, global opportunities, and cultural enrichment, it
also
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 presents challenges
such
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 as social isolation,
work
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-life balance issues, and technological risks. Balancing these factors requires proactive measures to maximize the benefits
while
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 mitigating the drawbacks, ensuring that
individuals
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 can leverage
this
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 development to lead fulfilling and sustainable lifestyles.

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you address the question directly and fully. While your essay broadly discusses the advantages and disadvantages, consider making a stronger, more explicit evaluation on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This could involve summarizing the arguments in a clearer manner in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance coherence by linking ideas more clearly. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through each paragraph, maintaining a logical flow from one idea to the next. While your essay has a good structure, tighter cohesion between sentences could enhance readability and argument strength.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific, real-life examples to support your main points. While theoretical explanations are given, practical examples would add depth and evidence to your arguments, making them more persuasive and comprehensive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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