Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

People
nowadays consider that
money
is the ultimate power. Many
people
in our society believe that anything can be bought from
money
and it's a key to success and
happiness
. In my opinion, there are many other factors which are more important than
money
.
Money
is an important factor to survive in
this
world
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
in
this
era where the prices are constantly increasing. There is almost everything that can be bought
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
money
and
according to
recent surveys, 70% of the problems in
people
's life
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
related
money
Change preposition
to money
show examples
. Because the
money
factor is very
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
important, many
people
investigate other person's financial background before marrying.
People
have started linking
money
with their
happiness
because they think they can manage anything if they have
money
.
On the other hand
, can
money
buy an extra time or an extra life? Similar to
this
question, there are many undebatable questions which
states
Change the verb form
state
show examples
that there are many other things important than
money
. One can have too much
money
but they can'
t
buy their fitness out of that
money
. Considering
happiness
, when a baby is born he or she is happy without knowing these concepts. I have observed many
people
who are financially unstable but still manage to be happy and some
people
have everything and still
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
end up being depressed. Many
people
have
money
but they don'
t
have good mental and physical health or they don'
t
have parents or children with them and I believe
money
can'
t
win against the importance of these aspects. In conclusion, I firmly believe there are many other important factors than
money
like physical and mental health, parents, time, life and
happiness
which are equally or more important than
money
to survive in
this
world.
Submitted by tirththakkar23 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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