IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#internet #newspapers
Nowadays it is easy to read the
news
 in many different ways than in the past. We can get lots of
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 from the
internet
 that in the past would only be
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
newspaper
. Some people believe that in the future there will not be
newspapers
. I agree with
this
 statement.
Firstly
 getting
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 from the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 much more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 than from a
newspaper
. You can read
news
 on the
internet
 in
anyplace
Correct your spelling
any place
show examples
 and at
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
for example
 on your computer at work or on your smartphone when you are on the bus. Reading a
newspaper
 means that you will need to go to the shop
for buying
Change preposition
to buy
show examples
 a
newspaper
 and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
carry it with you.
This
 is not as
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 as reading on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
news
 on the
internet
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 much faster than
news
 in the
newspaper
.
News
 in the
newspaper
 can only be about yesterday or before. All
newspapers
 are
wrote
Wrong verb form
written
show examples
 the day before they
are sell
Change the verb form
are sold
are selling
show examples
 in
theshops
Correct your spelling
the shops
. With the
internet
Add a comma
internet,
show examples
 you can read as soon as a story happens.
This
 way you get
news
 much more
quicker
Replace the word
quickly
show examples
.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 there are more stories on the
internet
 for
news
. When I read a story on the
internet
 I can read different writers opinion about the
news
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
this
 is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 thing because you understand more things about the
news
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 I believe that the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is better for
news
 than
newspapers
 many people who
are buy
Change the verb form
buy
show examples
newspapers
 now are older and for young
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
 the
newspaper
 is not very important.
Submitted by fmulato on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, but you could improve coherence by using more varied transition phrases to better connect your paragraphs and ideas. Additionally, make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph will be about.
task achievement
To enhance task response, ensure your opinion is clear throughout, not just in the conclusion. Introduce your thesis statement early in the introduction. Also, support your arguments with a wider range of examples and explanations for a more compelling argument.
general
Pay attention to grammatical errors and sentence structure to improve clarity and professionalism. Proofreading your work can help detect and correct these issues.
general
Increase the variety of your vocabulary to make your arguments more persuasive and engaging. Avoid repetition of words and phrases where possible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
What to do next:
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