Some people believe that time spent on television and computer games can valuable for children. Other believe this has negative impact on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #television #computer #games #children #impact #child

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Correct pronoun usage

There

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has been a long debate over whether spending time with technical

tools

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such

Linking Words

as computer

games

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and television for

children

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is suitable or not. I completely disagree with wasting time unless there are reasonable reasons.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore these issues from two perspectives as concisely as possible. First of all, advocates of using

tools

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in modern times contend that these phenomena are totally natural as we develop our technical science.

In addition

Linking Words

, they believe that

children

Use synonyms

have a more active need to adapt to using these

tools

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For example

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children

Use synonyms

can be taught computing skills by playing

games

Use synonyms

and watching television.

However

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, opponents of

this

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perspective think that these activities would not be suitable for young

children

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. They seriously think that before learning these exciting

games

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, young people have to learn intercommunication skills as much as possible.

In addition

Linking Words

, humans have to communicate with each other. In another recent survey, it was shown that overusing digital gadgets is more likely to be associated with an aggressive attitude and disobeying orders from parents.

Hence

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, it has a negative impact on developing

children

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's ability to act decently. In conclusion, from my perspective, I strongly believe that overusing television and computer

games

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would be harmful for

children

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Hence

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, parents should have a standard for using technical

tools

Use synonyms

Submitted by enoklee on Wed Mar 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good. However, to enhance your score, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and within them. Use linking words effectively to demonstrate the relationships between ideas.

task achievement

You have discussed both views and provided your opinion, which is essential for the task. To improve, ensure that your opinion is stated clearly early in the essay, and then reinforced and elaborated upon in the conclusion. Be specific in your arguments, providing more detailed examples and explanations.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

216 words

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Some people believe that time spent on television and computer games can valuable for children. Other believe this has negative impact on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Do you think consumers should avoid over packed products or is it the responsibility of the producer to avoid extra packaging of goods?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

art classes, such as painting and drawing , are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. TO what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries it is traditional for men to work and for women to stay at home to look after the family. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?