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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Write a letter to your friend describing the university you have joined recently for you! post-graduation. Invite him or her to visit you sometime. In your letter: -describe your new course and university - what do you like about it - ask your friend to visit you sometime Dear Sam.

#friend #university #post-graduation #visit #-describe #course #sam
Dear Sam, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I would like to inform you that I have recently joined the
University
 of Mauritius for my post-graduation
this
 year. I am doing a
post graduation
Add a hyphen
post-graduation
show examples
 course in Business and Administration. It is a
two year
Add a hyphen
two-year
show examples
 course and is by very skilled lecturers .
Moreover
, the
University
 is famous in the country and it
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 historically got good passing marks. It is
vey
Correct your spelling
very
 spacious and has many facilities like an automated library, Gym facilities and
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 ground. The
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 and lecturers at the
University
 are very humble people and they are always ready to help in case you have an issue. I would encourage you to come and meet me at the
University
 during my
lunch time
Correct your spelling
lunchtime
show examples
 and I can explain
you
Change preposition
to you
show examples
 in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
 about the course and the educational institution because I believe that you too want to pursue your studies and
this
 is a good opportunity for you. Yours faithfully Sahir Neeahmuth
Submitted by roshnijuneja19182 on

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Greeting and Closing
Make sure to use a proper closing greeting that aligns with the informal nature of the letter. 'Yours faithfully,' is typically used in formal correspondence. Consider using 'Take care,' 'Best regards,' or 'Warmly,' for an informal letter like this to a friend.
Complete Response
Your letter would benefit from more detailed descriptions and specific examples. When describing your new course and university, include why you chose this course and what makes it stand out to you personally. This will make your writing more engaging and personal.
Logical Structure
To improve the logical structure of your letter, consider organizing it into clear paragraphs, each with a single idea. Start with a paragraph about your course, follow with another about your university's facilities and staff, and conclude with an invitation to visit. This will make your letter easier to follow and more cohesive.
Coherence
Increase the connectivity of your ideas by using transitional phrases to move smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. Phrases like 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In regards to' can help make your writing more coherent.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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