Studies show that criminals get low level of education. Some people believe that the best way to reduce the crime is educating people in prison so they can get a job after leaving prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#studies #show #criminals #level #education #people #crime #prison #job

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According to

number

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a number

the number

show examples

of studies, one of the factors that

contributes

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contribute

show examples

to increased crime rate is

illetracy

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illiteracy

. There

has

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have

show examples

been debates among the individuals in

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

whether it will be beneficial to educate inmates

inorder

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in order

show examples

for them to gain employment after finishing their sentences. I believe it is

signifcant

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significant

for convicts to gain

education

on various levels to tackle

this

social issue.

Following

this

paragraph, in

this

essay

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essay,

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I will be emphasizing the importance of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education

Firstly

, by gaining

rudimentary

Correct article usage

a rudimentary

show examples

education

inmates are learning and finding a career;

this

will help them to reintegrate back into the community.

Criminal

Correct article usage

The criminal

show examples

rate is in

steep

Correct article usage

a steep

show examples

trajectory as people are not suffering from financial

constrants

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constraints

and making informed decisions about their lives. For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

instance,

alot

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a lot

of individuals are resorting to violence and theft as a

mean

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means

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. to survive in

this

demanding economy.

Secondly

this

willl

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will

empower them to take responsibility for their lives. Based on

signifacant

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significant

researches

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research

show examples

it suggests that there is a

corelation

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correlation

between increased social issues and

crime

Correct word choice

high crime

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rates being high.

Education

is key to

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

them aware of the issues and

become

Wrong verb form

becoming

show examples

a valuable member of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Finally

this

essay encapsulated

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

arguments on the need for

education

to overcome the high crime rate. It is

substancial

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important

for everyone to get

the

Correct article usage

show examples

education

of various levels

inorder

Correct your spelling

in order

show examples

for a sustainable and stable community.

Submitted by ameerahdidi on Wed Mar 20 2024

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task achievement

Provide a clearer introduction with a direct statement on your stance. It helps to immediately establish your point of view and engage the reader.

coherence & cohesion

Make sure your essay has a clear introductory paragraph, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This structure is expected in IELTS essays and helps with readability and coherence.

task achievement

Support your main points with specific, relevant examples. While you've touched upon the importance of education for inmates, including detailed examples or citing studies would strengthen your argument.

coherence & cohesion

Work on spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors to improve clarity. For example, it's "illiteracy", not "illetracy", and "significant", not "signifcant". Correct use of vocabulary and grammar is crucial in achieving a higher band score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

226 words

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