IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, more and more people want to get things done instantly. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #development
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In the modern era, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 have a
desire
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 to acquire tasks immediately.
The society
Correct article usage
Society
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 will get more benefits from
this
Linking Words
development
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 and
this
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 essay will
discuss
Correct pronoun usage
discuss it
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.
To begin
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 with, the
desire
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 of
people
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 to do things swiftly will
increase
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efficiency
Correct article usage
the efficiency
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 and productivity of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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.
The
Correct article usage
A
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 task that used to take one week can be completed in a few hours with the advancement of
technology
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.
For instance
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, in the past, employees want to send a bill to the client
take
Wrong verb form
took
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 a few days
while
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 the bill
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 be sent in a few minutes by email for now. Afterwards, the innovation and improvement increased
by
Change preposition
apply
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the ambition of
people
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 to finish tasks instantly. Individuals who are more efficient and productive when they complete the task can invest more resources in
development
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 and problem solving which
increase
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 innovation and improvement to find a solution to be more efficient.
This
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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will lead
Change preposition
to a
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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development
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 of
technology
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 in many fields,
such
Linking Words
 as health, education, agriculture and many more.
However
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, there is a negative impact
of
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on
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 the
desire
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 to get things done instantly. The expectation of immediate results can create an unrealistic standard which impacts
on
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apply
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mental health and well-being. Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
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 more stressed and burned because
the
Change preposition
of the
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 pressure to achieve the results instantly.
For instance
Linking Words
, more employees in the creative industry are stressed by
rapidly
Change the adverb
rapid
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technology
Use synonyms
 leading them to
increase
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 their work output
while
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 they have difficulties with the
technology
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. In conclusion, there is
positive
Add an article
the positive
a positive
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development
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 of the
desire
Use synonyms
 to do things swiftly which
Use synonyms
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
efficiency
Correct article usage
the efficiency
show examples
 and productivity of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 innovation and improvement
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 in
technology
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
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, there are expectations which create unrealistic standards that impact mental health and well-being.
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task achievement
Make sure to have a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines your perspective on the prompt clearly. This helps in establishing a solid stance from the beginning.
task achievement
To enhance your task response score, consider incorporating a wider range of specific and relevant examples to support each of your main points more fully. This adds depth to your argument and demonstrates a higher level of understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of logical connectors and cohesive devices throughout your essay to link ideas more clearly and effectively. This not only strengthens the flow of your argument but also enhances the readability of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is fully developed and expanded upon. This helps in maintaining focus and cohesion within and across paragraphs.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • rapid advancement
  • instant communication
  • online shopping
  • fast food delivery
  • social media platforms
  • immediate feedback
  • recognition and validation
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • convenience
  • decreased patience
  • delayed gratification
  • realistic expectations
  • work ethic
  • unrealistic expectations
  • stress
  • dissatisfaction
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