IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
Rencently
Correct your spelling
Recently
,
plent
Correct your spelling
plenty
 of
people
 living in
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
move
Wrong verb form
have moved
show examples
 to urban
cities
 in numerous countries
in
Change preposition
around
show examples
 the whole world leading to a decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the rural population.
This
development
 may have
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 pros and cons. On the one hand, moving to
cities
 is likely to be
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for rural
people
 to gain more opportunities
studying
Change the verb form
to study
show examples
 and
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
. Modern
cities
 have the advantages
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 teaching and employment, so
people
 trying to live in
cities
 tend to have the chance to complete themselves by receiving
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 level
education
Change preposition
of education
show examples
 and taking part in
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
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 given by some famous companies.
According to
this
,
people
 who used to live in rural places are likely to enjoy an improvement in living standards and may contribute to their hometown to help the
development
 of the
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
.
On the other hand
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
 detrimental aspects
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
development
. When a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
people
 living in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
emmigrate
Correct your spelling
emigrate
migrate
 to
cities
, the
development
 of
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 may be
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a low pace.
As the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 decreasing population in rural places is likely to lead to the lack of workforce to
construst
Correct your spelling
construct
 the rural environment better.
Thus
,
due to
 the underdeveloped infrastructure in the countryside, more rural residents may choose to find their job prospects to live an ideal life in metro areas which will even tend to make the circumstances in rural
placesworse
Correct your spelling
places worse
 to live or earn a living. In conclusion, the
development
 of big
emmigration
Correct your spelling
immigration
emigration
 from
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
 to
cities
 has
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
positive
influcences
Correct your spelling
influences
influence
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 rural dwellers living a better life
although
this
 trend may cause negative impacts on the
development
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural places.
Submitted by 1434110674 on

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task achievement
To improve your score, you need to make sure you clearly address all parts of the task. Present a clear position throughout your response. Consider adding more detailed examples from your own experience or knowledge to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure. Use paragraphs effectively, each with a clear main idea. Transition smoothly between ideas using linking words and phrases.
general language use
Use a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures accurately. Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes. Remember, variety and accuracy in language contribute significantly to a higher score.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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