Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money efficiently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is suggested that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial literacy should be
compulsory
Add an article
a compulsory
show examples
subject
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
schools’ curriculum to gain knowledge on how to have oversight over
money
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
valid reasons for
this
Linking Words
proposition, I am personally opposed to it since
this
Linking Words
skill can be gained through real-life experience. Covering financial knowledge as a subject in schools can be justified on several grounds. The most potent reason for
this
Linking Words
would be a high level of attendance since many schools provide free lessons.
That is
Linking Words
, many students will be interested in those classes, enabling them to empower fundamental components of finance -
management
Use synonyms
, inflation, and budgeting, which all have
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great importance in both academic and professional career
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, by qualifying these skills, one can easily figure out how much
money
Use synonyms
they can purchase for a particular item, particularly
while
Linking Words
borrowing, considering loan term and personal gross income, which eventually leads to
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more financial stability and economic distress. Despite these reasons, I object to having other methods for attaining effective
management
Use synonyms
of
money
Use synonyms
. The main problem here is the current school curriculum that ties
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
theoretical knowledge, which is more likely to be different in practical usage. Schoolchildren can
instead
Linking Words
solidify
money
Use synonyms
management
Use synonyms
skills with the help of parents when they receive
money
Use synonyms
, using it and consulting with parents in commercial matters. In
these regard
Change the determiner
this regard
these regards
show examples
, real-life experience is far more practical,
whereas
Linking Words
it is difficult for school children to do the same as that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
learning state in hypothetical lessons.
For example
Linking Words
, a student can learn about interest rates or appreciation during the class but may struggle with how they actually work unless they test them in reality.
Overall
Linking Words
, real instructions are usually gained in practical conditions, which contributes to
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
state of a nation and controlling
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
show examples
budget. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
school aid in obtaining financial education is reasonable as it is free-of-charge to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
a massive influx of students, I believe that physical literacy is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
superior in
regulationing
Correct your spelling
regulations
regulating
money
Use synonyms
management
Use synonyms
that stems from real usage of it in
real
Add an article
the real
show examples
world.
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the prompt in your introduction. This would help in demonstrating your stance more clearly and directly.
task achievement
Try to expand on examples by providing more specific details. Instead of generalized statements, incorporate real-life examples or statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance logical structure by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs. Transition words or phrases can effectively indicate connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. Make sure this main idea is clearly stated in the topic sentence and further elaborated within the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to essay formatting by having clear separation between paragraphs. This not only aids readability but also helps in maintaining a structured flow of ideas.
general
Keep an eye on grammatical errors and sentence structure variations to improve the overall polish of your essay. Proofreading can significantly impact the clarity of your expression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial literacy
  • Mandatory
  • Budgeting
  • Economic stability
  • Fiscal health
  • Credit
  • Interest rates
  • Investments
  • Curriculum
  • Informed decisions
  • Personal debt
  • Savings
  • Taxes
  • Expenditures
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Money management
  • Financial planning
  • Economic education
  • Financial competence
What to do next:
Look at other essays: