many people aroung the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disavantage?

in the internet era, a group of
people
said that it is necessary for
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
to
use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
to connect with society and get news easier
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. It brings lots of positive
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
for
media
and
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
such
as increasing the number of users and
also
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
the percentage of
loyal
Add an article
the loyal
a loyal
show examples
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
, but the drawback is
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
social
media
is
addicted
Replace the word
addictive
show examples
to young
people
due to
bad effects on physical and mental health.
This
writer will explain more
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
and drawbacks following the essay.
The social
Correct article usage
Social
show examples
media
is being used
over
Rephrase
all over
show examples
the world because it has many
usefullness
Correct your spelling
usefulness
such
it indepent of distance, nationality,
languega
Correct your spelling
language
or religion. It is easy to
use
for both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ages and has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
friendly interface and the most
thing
Correct word choice
important thing
show examples
is it
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
news
Change preposition
of news
show examples
over
Rephrase
all over
show examples
the world.
For example
,
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
is
Correct article usage
a
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
app,
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
owned
Add a missing verb
is owned
show examples
by Meta company it has more than 1.2
biliion
Correct your spelling
billion
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
every
Fix the agreement mistake
hour
show examples
hours
Fix the agreement mistake
hour
show examples
.
Capitalize word
That
show examples
that
Capitalize word
That
show examples
why it
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of news from entertainment to
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
and
Change preposition
besides
show examples
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
that it created a
lagre
Correct your spelling
large
of potential
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
for sellers.
On the other hand
, social
media
apps are one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
psychosomatic illness
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
a part of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
make
people
not
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
hang out or have outside activities,
connect
Correct word choice
and connect
show examples
with
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
. They
depent
Correct your spelling
depend
on
meida
Correct your spelling
media
apps,
Correct word choice
and thay
show examples
thay
Correct your spelling
they
use
Verb problem
spend
show examples
almost their time for
ones
Fix the agreement mistake
one
show examples
. Take example, the newspaper said that nearly 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
people
get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
bad illness cause
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
use
the apps very much. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
always has
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive and negative
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
, it
depent
Correct your spelling
depends
depend
on our consciousness of
use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
it. It can bring
people
closer together but make
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
far away. How we
use
it will
be bring
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
positive
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
or negative results
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logical structure
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introduction/conclusion present
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supported main points
To support your main points more effectively, incorporate a wider range of examples and evidence. While you did use examples, diversifying your sources and the type of evidence can strengthen your arguments.
complete response
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relevant/specific examples
When providing examples, ensure they are relevant and specific to the point you're trying to make. Also, consider utilizing a range of examples, including personal experiences, statistical data, or well-known events, to reinforce your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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