Many people around the world use social media everday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantage?
The majority of
people
all aver
the Correct your spelling
over
world
use
social networking sites day to day hold
contact details with another and Fix the infinitive
to hold
acess
Correct your spelling
access
news
informations
. Change the wording
information
pieces of information
This
writer argues that the benefits of connecting and maintaining relationships and to avoid
Change the verb form
avoiding
dated
outweigh the Replace the word
dating
drawback
of Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
addicted
to Add a missing verb
being addicted
it
.
Correct pronoun usage
them
Firstly
, using social media
will have many benefit
like Change to a plural noun
benefits
make
a lot of knowledge of Verb problem
gaining
information
in over the Add an article
the information
world
can understand
and Replace the word
understanding
catch
upWrong verb form
catching
a
lot of trends or events in the Change preposition
on a
world
. For example
, Correct article usage
the chairman
chairman
can persuade all staff and control Correct article usage
the chairman
Change preposition
apply
by
social Change preposition
apply
media
or he can talk to them Change preposition
about some
some
of Change preposition
about some
Correct article usage
the news
news
events of his company. Correct article usage
the news
Furthermore
, now have a lot of financial benefit
so most Change to a plural noun
benefits
of
Change preposition
apply
people
use
it for shopping online or find
some Fix the infinitive
to find
of
work with Change preposition
apply
high
salary Correct article usage
a high
in
other websites.
Change preposition
on
Secondly
, for education
students can Add a comma
education,
use
social media
for
study online at home, do not go out if they can not or they must at home. Change preposition
to
Moreover
, some of
Change preposition
apply
student
can Fix the agreement mistake
students
use
that for chatting with friend
or Fix the agreement mistake
friends
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxing
by
some Change preposition
with
of
games Change preposition
apply
in
the internet. Change preposition
on
For example
, Add an article
the student
a student
student
must study online when Fix the agreement mistake
students
covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
appear
in over the Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
world
or for
relax, after 1 week to study hard, Change preposition
to
at
Correct word choice
and at
weekend
students can play more games.
Correct article usage
the weekend
Nonetheless
, using social networking sites helps catch up on more news
occasions around the world
. the public can trend to their celebrities or new fashion. nowadays, most people
read the news
on the Internet so clever machines are more and more important and convenient in social life.
To sum up
, the convenience of the social network about
communication and connection is considered to outweigh its drawbacks. Change preposition
for
Therefore
, people
should use
social media
for proper and brilliant purpose
to meet their Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
demand
.Fix the agreement mistake
demands
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coherence cohesion
Ensure to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on distinct ideas, and a concise conclusion. Your essay currently has them, but improving the clarity would enhance the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words effectively to show the relationship between ideas. Currently, transitions between points could be smoother.
task achievement
Provide concrete examples to support your main ideas. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Address the task prompt directly and ensure to discuss both sides if required. Your essay focuses more on advantages, so balancing the discussion would improve the completeness of your response.
general
Avoid grammatical errors and use a range of vocabulary. This not only makes your essay clearer but also demonstrates your language proficiency. Revising your grammar and expanding your vocabulary will improve your score.
general
Work on structuring your sentences more clearly. At times, your ideas are hard to follow due to complex or incorrect sentence structures. Simplifying your sentences can help maintain clarity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.