The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile brands between 2009 and 2013.

The bar chart compares the global sales of the Samsung,

Apple

Use synonyms

, Nokia, LG and ZTE telephone brands from 2009 to 2013.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Samsung and

Apple

Use synonyms

rose dramatically,

while

Linking Words

Nokia and LG decreased significantly.

Moreover

Linking Words

ZTE

Correct article usage

the ZTE

show examples

mobile phone

remain

Wrong verb form

remained

show examples

unchanged whole the period given. In 2009, Samsung

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

sold approximately 230, but,

till

Change preposition

show examples

2013,

increase

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

remarkably to 450

million

Use synonyms

, Nokia

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

purchased about 450

million

Use synonyms

in 2009.

However

Linking Words

, until 2013 dropped sharply to 250

million

Use synonyms

Linking Words

addition

Add a comma

addition,

show examples

buying

ZTE

Correct article usage

a ZTE

show examples

smartphone was only 50

million

Use synonyms

. At the beginning of the period,

Apple

Use synonyms

selling was only 25

million

Use synonyms

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

2013

Add a comma

2013,

show examples

Apple

Use synonyms

sold around 150

million

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, in 2009, LG

buying was

Wrong verb form

bought

show examples

exactly 100

million

Use synonyms

phones.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, till 2011, decreased to roughly 80

million

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

, declined slightly to around 60

million

Use synonyms

and became the second lowest.

yoqubjonovjamshidbek23

Mar 20, 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, moreover".

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words apple, million with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

137 words

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The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile brands between 2009 and 2013.

One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

Due to poorer countries wxperiencing a brain drain they are seeing many professionals, such as doctors and teachers, leaving to work in more developed countries. what problems does this cause? What solutions can be suggested to deal with this situation?

Many museums charge for admission whiles others are free. Do you think the advantage charging for admission outweigh the disadvantage

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it?