Some people think that dancing is an important subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time.​ What are positive and negative sides of art at school?​ ​Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples ​ from your experience or knowledge. Write about 180-220 words.

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There are many positives to take into consideration that
art
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subjects
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in
school
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are important for
children
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. One Primary positive is relaxation for
children
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.
This
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is
due to
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the fact that
subjects
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about arts can relieve stress after
children
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learn many serious
subjects
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in
school
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.
For example
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, many students stress that learning applied mathematics and science or other languages are serious
subjects
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which are highly competitive in
school
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.
As a result
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,
art
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subjects
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are better ways to relieve stress from
children
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in
school
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. The obvious argument in its favour is that many
children
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can find their passions and hidden talents in the arts.
This
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is because each
children
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have various favourites and different abilities.
For instance
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, some
children
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are good at dancing but they are not good at science,
while
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some students are not good at languages but they can draw beautiful pictures.
Therefore
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,
art
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subjects
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are important
as well as
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other
subjects
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.
Although
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there are negative
art
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subjects
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for
children
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in
school
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, there are some negatives to keep in mind. Some
children
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are only interested in
art
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subjects
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and neglect to study other
subjects
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.
This
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is because they don't like serious
subjects
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.
For example
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, they can not understand the lesson in some
subjects
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,
while
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in contrast
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, they can understand the
art
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subjects
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.
As a result
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,
Children
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do not understand the importance of studying other
subjects
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at the same time. In summary, from the positive and negative points mentioned
art
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and other
subjects
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are all important for the learning development of
children
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. In my opinion,
art
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at
school
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has many positives and it is important for
children
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’s learning.
Submitted by kristiwatanayothin on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try structuring your essay more clearly. Introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence, follow with supporting sentences, and conclude with a sentence that summarizes or links to your next point. Use transition words to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
For a better score in task achievement, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Discuss both sides of the argument equally and include a personal conclusion. Expand your support for each point with detailed examples or evidence from personal experience or general knowledge.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extracurricular
  • kinesthetic learning
  • aesthetic appreciation
  • cognitive development
  • resource allocation
  • holistic development
  • academic rigor
  • creative outlets
  • physical endurance
  • budget constraints
  • curriculum integration
  • motor skills
  • self-discipline
  • peer interaction
  • cultural awareness
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