IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The most importaint aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#importaint #aim #science #people #lives
The
Correct article usage
Science
show examples
science
 is one of the most important lenses of our world,
revolutionazing
Correct your spelling
revolutionising
 the way we live our lives. It is believed to be the
upmost
Correct your spelling
utmost
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 priority of
scientce
Correct your spelling
science
 should be to make
humanity
 better in terms of living conditions and its future. It is my contention that
although
 there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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numerous objectives listed on the agenda of the field of
science
 to be implemented,
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
show examples
 of people's
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 should be prioritized with the
upmost
Correct your spelling
utmost
show examples
 significance. First and foremost, undoubtedly, it is almost impossible to envision the future of
humanity
 in the event that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
 is devoid.
This
 is primarily
due to
 the life-altering inventions that
invented
Add a missing verb
were invented
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 through
the
Correct article usage
apply
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scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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 and investigations. As we live on the edge of technology, making
humanity
 a
multiplanetary
Correct your spelling
multi-planetary
specie
Correct your spelling
species
show examples
 is considered the cornerstone achievement in history which has not been realized yet. It goes without saying that with the help of distinctive scientific subjects
such
 as rocket engineering and material strength, a slow but determined step is taken each day, taking us one step closer to our end goal. To exemplify
this
 statement, space companies like NASA and Space X invest billions of dollars into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research and development activities to advance
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rocket technology and ultimately
one day
Add a hyphen
one-day
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carrying
Wrong verb form
carry
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humanity
 to another planet and
terraforming
Wrong verb form
terraform
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 it.
Moreover
, it is
also
 worth noting that
science
's footprint in the field of medicine and pharmacy is paramount,
therefore
, modern scientists should put all their efforts
to find
Change preposition
into finding
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 solutions to cure terminal illnesses. Unfortunately, there are a plentiful of diseases
still
Correct pronoun usage
that still
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 remain unsolved and no curing method has been found yet.
For example
, scientists and doctors should combine their efforts and resources to
fight-off
Correct your spelling
fight off
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 cancer and save millions of people's
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
Additionally
,
instead
 of selling drugs and medicine to the patients I believe, with the help of
science
, a groundbreaking achievement can be accomplished in
this
 sector. In conclusion,
science
's footprint is crucial in our lives and the main aim should always be to improve the lives of humans.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and is well-organized.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide clearer, more direct main points in each paragraph to effectively support your argument. Use linking words to better connect your ideas.
Task Achievement
Address the prompt fully by discussing to what extent you agree or disagree with the statement. Include a more explicit position and reasoning throughout your essay.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your ideas more convincing and comprehensive.
General
Pay attention to grammar and spelling to ensure your essay is easy to read and understand. Minor errors can distract from your message.
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