Most school include physical education as part of their school program. Why is physical education important? Sould physical education classes be compalsory or optional?
These days most schools have
education
of physical included in their school Add an article
the education
an education
calicurrum
. In Correct your spelling
curriculum
this
essay, I will discuss about
why Remove the preposition
apply
is
the program is important and the reason why I believe it should be compulsory.
Unnecessary verb
apply
Firstly
, it is beneficial for children
’s health to do excersize
. It is said that doing is good for both human’s physical health and mental Correct your spelling
exercise
helth
but many Correct your spelling
health
children
have lost oportunity
to play Correct your spelling
opportunity
out side
because they tended to Correct your spelling
outside
paly
videogames at home in their free time recently. Correct your spelling
play
Moreover
, sometimes they don’t have their playgrounds because there are less
parks than before or there are many dangerous outside and their parents don’t allow their Change the quantifier
fewer
children
to go out. As a result
, moving at
school is the only way for some Change preposition
to
children
.
Furthermore
, it is efficient to learn Fix the infinitive
to collaboration
collaboration
with other Replace the word
collaborate
people
under rules, which is essential
skill in society when they grow up. All sports have their own rules which Add an article
an essential
people
shold
obey and team play needs cooperation. And most Correct your spelling
should
people
have the same situation in our workplace. If they do just videogames
or study alone, they cannot learn the society and sometimes it will be difficult to work with other Correct your spelling
video games
people
. Thus
, by making children
do sports as a part of school program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
compulsory
, they can feel the real society before they start work.
In conclusion, Correct word choice
apply
bcause
of the Correct your spelling
because
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
for
health and learning human Change preposition
of
relationship
, Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
shcools
should oblige physical education in their program. I Correct your spelling
schools
beileve
if Correct your spelling
believe
people
really care about children
, we also
need to convey children
and their parents how important this activities
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
.
Add a missing verb
are.
Submitted by mayu1022.p on
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accuracy
Work on your spelling and grammar throughout the essay. Errors such as 'excersize', 'helth', 'calicurrum', 'oportunity', and 'shcools' detract from the overall professionalism and clarity of your writing.
vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas. This will make your argument more compelling and your writing more engaging.
cohesion
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task response
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Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.