Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
These days, a sense of competition is considered important by some
people
to be encouraged, while
others argue that children
who are educated to collaborate rather than compete tend to be more successful in the future. Through this
essay, I will ventilate both views and give my supportive opinion towards collaboration
that should be possessed by children
.
Among society, competitiveness is still reckoned
important since it is necessary to face challenges in today’s world. To exemplify, in the workforce, Verb problem
considered
people
still need to compete to get their proposed position as the chance is limited. Notwithstanding, while
people
become employees they are urged to cooperate with their coworkers, competition is undeniably a matter in higher
level of Correct article usage
the higher
company's
affairs. Cultivating that sense as early as possible, Correct article usage
the company's
hence
, is indispensable.
Conversely
, other people
come to the realization that collaboration
is now more important than ever to be taught toward
Change preposition
to
children
as it will contribute to their fruitfulness as they grow older. The underlying reason for this
is some chores are possibly done if only they work collaboratively. For instance
, to formulate outstanding products, excellent teamwork is needed across interdisciplinary parties. It is to emphasize, the
better they collaborate, the more opportunity they get to achieve the common goals.
From my own perspective, Correct word choice
that the
collaboration
is far more important for children
to learn as they will need to utilize that ability in the future. Collectively, the betterment of the world will only be unlocked if a skyrocketing number of people
is willing to cooperate.
To sum up
, despite the necessity of a sense of rivalry in order to obtain certain advantages, collaboration
inevitably needs to be cultivated among children
. By doing so, hence
, they will be more able to seize the opportunity in the future to create better solutions.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Be sure to introduce both views clearly in your introduction to provide a snapshot of the essay to come. This sets the stage for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. While you mentioned general scenarios, including real-world examples or hypothetical cases with more detail could greatly enhance your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on the progression of ideas within paragraphs. Use clear topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, followed by explanations and examples to support this idea. This will make your arguments more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear connection between paragraphs. Transition words like "However", "Furthermore", and "On the other hand" can help create a smoother flow between contrasting ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion does a good job of summarizing the essay and stating your opinion. Ensure that the conclusion directly addresses the essay prompt and ties all your points together.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.