IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Compared to the past, more people are now trying to learn a foreign languages to increase their chances of landing a better job in their native country or having better opportunities to work abroad. To what extent do you agree with this point of view? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #languages #chances #job #country #opportunities #work #point #support
Nowadays, many
people
 are more likely to study a second
language
 to go up their percentage of finding a well-paid
job
. The writer of
this
 essay completely agrees with
this
 notion because if
people
 had more than one
language
, the
job
 they had might be better. In the era of globalization, businesses in many nations are expanding their operations across nations so that if they could speak another
language
, a high percentage they get a
job
 easier than other
people
.
Moreover
, many sectors now place a premium on
language
 skills. In the tourism industry,
for instance
, proficiency in multiple
languages
 allows individuals to cater to a diverse customer base and provide personalized services.
Additionally
, industries
such
 as translation, interpretation, and international relations require professionals who can bridge
language
 barriers and facilitate effective communication.
This
 expansion of employment possibilities underscores the significance of foreign
language
 acquisition. Taking a look at another reason, if every single person can speak foreign
languages
, I could go to other countries to find a
job
. Indeed, fluency in a second
language
 broadens the range of
job
 opportunities available in foreign countries. Many multinational companies and international organizations prefer candidates who possess
language
 skills.
For example
, most
people
 with foreign
language
 skills go abroad to work . For that reason, fluency in foreign
languages
 is an advantage for
people
 who want to work abroad. In conclusion, being good at
languages
 might open wider opportunities to have well-paid jobs so that more
people
 are intending to study foreign
languages
.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay presents a persuasive argument, it would benefit from additional examples that clearly illustrate your points. Try to incorporate more specific and varied examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the transitions between paragraphs are smooth. Currently, the essay's cohesion can be improved by better connecting your points and maintaining a consistent flow.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting and summarizing your main point effectively.
task achievement
The essay fully addresses the prompt and explores the notion that learning a foreign language can improve job prospects.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: