IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are travelling next month to stay with a family you do not know as part of a language training course. Write a letter to the family to introduce yourself. In your letter, -Say when and how you will be arriving -Tell the family a little about yourself -Ask about the type of food that the family eats.

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Dear Sir , I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in a radiant of health and great spirits. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to give you concise information
of
Change preposition
about
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 my arrival . I booked
flight
Add an article
a flight
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 from AP travel agency and the flight will depart from Amritsar airport at 10 pm on Saturday
then
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 , I have booked
taxi
Add an article
a taxi
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 which will take me to your home . All the preparations
has
Verb problem
were
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 done to avoid
further
Linking Words
 inconvenience and I packed all my stuff . My name is Jai Verma and I am 26 years old . I have done my graduation from Guru Nanak Dev University which is situated in Jalandhar . Currently, I am working in
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
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 department with
prestige
Replace the word
a prestigious
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 international company and I am 6 feet tall , a serene and generous person . I just to know
about
Change preposition
apply
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what type of food
do
Verb problem
apply
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you eat
?
Change the punctuation
.
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 Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 I
belongs
Change the verb form
belong
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 to
sikh
Correct article usage
a sikh
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 family and non-vegetarian food is not allowed in my religion
that is
Linking Words
 why , I am concerned about
this
Linking Words
 topic. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Rahul

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Planning & Tone
Ensure that the greeting is personally addressed if possible. Using 'Dear Sir,' is formal but less personalized. If you know the name of the head of the family or a contact person, use it. For example, 'Dear Mr. Smith,' adds a touch of personalization.
Logical Structure
Present information in a logical order. Starting with your arrival details is good, but make sure to seamlessly transition into personal introduction and then the query regarding food preferences. A smoother transition can enhance readability.
Content Relevance
In the personal introduction, aim to provide information that is more directly relevant to your stay with the family. While mentioning your profession is useful, consider including interests or hobbies that might be of common interest.
Tone & Politeness
When asking questions or making requests, ensure politeness and cultural sensitivity. For instance, when inquiring about food preferences, preface with a brief explanation of your dietary restrictions, expressing hope for understanding and flexibility. This maintains a respectful tone.
Paragraph Structure
Work on paragraph structure. Ideally, each paragraph should focus on a single idea (arrival, personal introduction, food preferences). This helps with the readability and organization of the letter.
Consistency & Accuracy
Closing the letter with 'Yours faithfully' is correct when the name of the person is not known. However, make sure your sign-off name matches the introduction. The letter introduces you as Jai Verma but signs off as Rahul - ensure consistency in identity.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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