IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do u agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#people #choices
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
To begin
Linking Words
, most individuals trust that nowadays community have too many choices to do work. There are some pros and cons regarding
this
Linking Words
. I completely agree with the statement
due to
Linking Words
 globalisation and opportunities.
However
Linking Words
, globalisation brings hundreds and thousands of options to the public's lives. Globally increases the tendency to develop individuals and the whole country. Most of society has the tendency to do work
along with
Linking Words
 their studies. They work to fulfil their needs and
as well as
Linking Words
 do study.
For example
Linking Words
, one of my colleagues does NCLEX to get registration in a developed foreign country for IELTS to study in another country to complete a master's.
Moreover
Linking Words
, nations have too many alternatives and opportunities to do whatever they want in their lives. Nowadays, every individual is independent and self-reliable and has the autonomy to study or practice. They have many choices to increase moral values and earn money. Learners have the freedom to choose which option is better for them in their terms and conditions.
For instance
Linking Words
, Delhi University provides both on-campus and online classes for students it is their choice to choose whatever they want.
To conclude
Linking Words
, after the above-mentioned reasons , there is no doubt that society has many opportunities and choices in every aspect of their lives.
Also
Linking Words
, globally provides a framework to accomplish their goals.
Submitted by psingh8059 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider strengthening your thesis statement in the introduction for a clearer stance. This will enhance the task response score.
task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are directly linked to the question posed. Avoid generalized assertions without directly linking them back to the question for improvement in task response.
coherence cohesion
Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, in contrast, as a result) to better signal relationships between ideas and improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
It's beneficial to structure paragraphs clearly with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences, and a conclusive sentence to wrap up.
task achievement
Incorporate more detailed, relevant examples specific to the statement being argued. This helps to ground your argument and makes it more persuasive.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: