Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas, while others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

These days, the presence of
tourists
has become a problematic issue in local areas.
While
some
people
claim that
tourism
should be restricted in some areas, others contend that setting limitations on
tourism
is not a viable solution ,
due to
, cause some disadvantages for local
people
.I believe that the benefits of
tourism
far outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, advocates for banning
tourism
opine that the
tourism
industry has detrimental impacts on local culture ,
such
as cultural degradation.
In other words
, they believe
tourism
can debase the host culture.
For example
,
tourists
can change the fashion and the way of dressing local
people
.
Consequently
, local
people
may not have their traditional customs.
Moreover
,
tourism
can cause enormous damage to local environments.
For instance
, they pollute the area with their litter. Another example is that the Sant River one of the most significant tourist attractions in Paris is polluted by
tourists
in some tourist seasons, which has brought important problems for residents by the river.
On the other hand
, others argue that restriction
tourism
is inevitable, leading to development and progress,
tourism
industry brings local
people
a source of income and prosperity.
For example
. most of the local
people
in the north of Iran do not have official jobs. they rent accommodations in coastal areas by taking rent, they could meet their needs.
Additionally
,
tourism
enhances a higher standard of living for local communities. To exemplify, In the remote area of the north of Iran, you can find a variety of types of food and facilities
due to
the presence of
tourists
. In conclusion,
although
the
tourism
industry has significant disadvantages for local environments and local communities, The paramount benefits should not be ignored. In my opinion,
tourism
plays a vital role in the well-being of local
people
. It could change local peoples' living standards, leading to progress and development.
Submitted by sarasadeghi74 on

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introduction conclusion present
The introduction is fairly clear but could be more engaging. Consider providing a stronger hook and refining the thesis statement to make your position clearer from the start.
logical structure
Some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Pay attention to the flow of information from one paragraph to the next for better coherence.
supported main points
Although you provided examples, make sure each one is directly tied to a main point and elaborated upon for clarity.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on maintaining a more formal tone. Avoid minor grammatical errors and informal expressions to improve clarity and professionalism.
complete response
You have clearly stated both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view before expressing your own opinion.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion, providing a sense of closure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • influx of tourists
  • dilute local customs
  • commercialization
  • loss of native languages
  • economic benefits
  • revenue source
  • responsible tourism
  • cultural sensitivity
  • regulated tourist limits
  • cultural heritage
  • globalization
  • case study
  • ‘High Value, Low Impact’ tourism
  • controlled tourism
  • middle-ground solution
  • infrastructure development
  • significant revenue source
  • employment generation
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