It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

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One of the most vital and widely discussed issues nowadays is how to teach
children
Use synonyms
to know what is right and what is wrong.Now,people
begging
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are beginning
show examples
to realize that punishment is essential to learn
this
Linking Words
difference,but some individuals would disagree with
this
Linking Words
belief.Personally,I tend to think that it would be right to nurture kids through various
kind
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kinds
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of penalties. First of all,judgement
it
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apply
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is always about letting the person reflect on their
behavior
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behaviour
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.I guess
that is
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obvious that without beating
children
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never would stop
to do
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doing
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the wrong things,like smoking cigarettes,
drink
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drinking
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alcohol and
use
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using
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bad words.I can give as
instance
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an instance
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the penalizing for violation of law,or prison time.Government and
judge
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judges
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give
a
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apply
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prison time to
law-breaker
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law-breakers
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in order to teach them that they should not break the law anymore.
Therefore
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,it is the same situation with
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children
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children's
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education,
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that
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which
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is good for their understanding
what
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of what
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they can do or not,and punishment
it
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apply
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is not always about beating,parents may
also
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make some sanctions like
to disallow
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disallowing
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use
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the use
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telephone
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of telephone
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,
to forbid
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forbidding
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going out with friends. On
other
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the other
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hand
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hand,
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it can
also
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be argued that
children
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who know what
parents
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their parents
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would do if they
make
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did
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something bad,
they
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apply
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will never do it.As
good
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a good
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example
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example,
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I can
say
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tell
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my story,when my old brother decided to hijack a parent’s car and drive with his girlfriend,and be regretted
for
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apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
behavior.My father noticed the lack of
car
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a car
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and after my brother arrived home,he
beated
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beat
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him a lot,he disallowed him to use
smartphone
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his smartphone
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for several months and
make
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made
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him just a slave
in
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at
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home.Sometimes when I want to steal the car,
i
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I
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remember
this
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accident and that
encourage
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encouraged
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me to never do it. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that should be allowed to teach babies a distinction between bad and good behaviors by sanctions,disallowings,and sometimes by violence but in moderation.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction by clearly stating your thesis and outlining the main points you will discuss in the essay. This helps to set a clear direction for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Develop each paragraph with sufficient detail and provide clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument. This helps to maintain logical structure and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use connecting words and phrases to better link your ideas within and between paragraphs. This will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure you use more precise examples and avoid overly personal anecdotes that may not be as universally relatable. Aim for examples that are more formal and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Work on improving language accuracy, including punctuation and grammar, which can impact clarity. Proper spacing between words and punctuation marks is important.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic directly and provides a point of view on the necessity of punishment for children to learn right from wrong.
task achievement
The essay includes personal experiences that make the argument relatable and demonstrate a personal investment in the topic.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph attempts to develop a specific idea relating to the main argument, showing an effort to structure the essay logically.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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