It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

One of the most vital and widely discussed issues nowadays is how to teach
children
to know what is right and what is wrong.Now,people
begging
Wrong verb form
are beginning
show examples
to realize that punishment is essential to learn
this
difference,but some individuals would disagree with
this
belief.Personally,I tend to think that it would be right to nurture kids through various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of penalties. First of all,judgement
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is always about letting the person reflect on their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.I guess
that is
obvious that without beating
children
never would stop
to do
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doing
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the wrong things,like smoking cigarettes,
drink
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drinking
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alcohol and
use
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using
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bad words.I can give as
instance
Add an article
an instance
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the penalizing for violation of law,or prison time.Government and
judge
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judges
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give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison time to
law-breaker
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law-breakers
show examples
in order to teach them that they should not break the law anymore.
Therefore
,it is the same situation with
children
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children's
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education,
that
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which
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is good for their understanding
what
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of what
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they can do or not,and punishment
it
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apply
show examples
is not always about beating,parents may
also
make some sanctions like
to disallow
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disallowing
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use
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the use
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telephone
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of telephone
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,
to forbid
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forbidding
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going out with friends. On
other
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the other
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hand
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hand,
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it can
also
be argued that
children
who know what
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
would do if they
make
Verb problem
did
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something bad,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will never do it.As
good
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a good
show examples
example
Add a comma
example,
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I can
say
Verb problem
tell
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my story,when my old brother decided to hijack a parent’s car and drive with his girlfriend,and be regretted
for
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
behavior.My father noticed the lack of
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
and after my brother arrived home,he
beated
Correct your spelling
beat
show examples
him a lot,he disallowed him to use
smartphone
Correct pronoun usage
his smartphone
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for several months and
make
Wrong verb form
made
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him just a slave
in
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at
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home.Sometimes when I want to steal the car,
i
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I
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remember
this
accident and that
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraged
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me to never do it. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that should be allowed to teach babies a distinction between bad and good behaviors by sanctions,disallowings,and sometimes by violence but in moderation.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction by clearly stating your thesis and outlining the main points you will discuss in the essay. This helps to set a clear direction for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Develop each paragraph with sufficient detail and provide clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument. This helps to maintain logical structure and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use connecting words and phrases to better link your ideas within and between paragraphs. This will improve the flow of your essay.
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Ensure you use more precise examples and avoid overly personal anecdotes that may not be as universally relatable. Aim for examples that are more formal and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Work on improving language accuracy, including punctuation and grammar, which can impact clarity. Proper spacing between words and punctuation marks is important.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic directly and provides a point of view on the necessity of punishment for children to learn right from wrong.
task achievement
The essay includes personal experiences that make the argument relatable and demonstrate a personal investment in the topic.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph attempts to develop a specific idea relating to the main argument, showing an effort to structure the essay logically.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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