Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do u agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience .

To begin
,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
individuals trust that nowadays
people
have too many choices to do work.
Thera
Correct your spelling
There
show examples
are some pros and cons regarding
this
. I completely agree with
this
statement
due to
globalisation
and opportunities.
However
,
globalisation
brings hundreds and thousands of options to
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lives.
Globalisation
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
the tendency to develop the individuals and whole country. Most of the
people
have the tendency to do work
along with
their studies. They work to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their needs and
as well as
do study .
For example
, one of my
colleague
Change to a plural noun
colleagues
show examples
do NCLEX to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
registration in a
develp
Correct your spelling
developed
foreign country
along with
this
so IELTS to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
study in another country to complete
Correct pronoun usage
my masters
show examples
masters
Change noun form
master's
show examples
.
Moreover
,
people
have too many alternatives and opportunities to do whatever they want in their lives. Nowadays, every individual is independent and
self reliable
Add a hyphen
self-reliable
show examples
and
also
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
the autonomy whether to study or
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
practice
Add an article
the practice
show examples
. They have many choices to increase moral values and earn money. Learners have
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
to choose which option is better for them in their terms and conditions.
For instance
, Delhi University
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
both
on- campus
Correct your spelling
on-campus
show examples
and online classes for students it is their choice to choose whatever they want.
To conclude
, after the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
reasons , there is no doubt that
people
have many opportunities and choices in every aspect of their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Also
,
globalisation
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
a framework to accomplish their goals.
Submitted by psingh8059 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Focus on clear paragraph structuring, ensuring each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by specific examples or reasons. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking devices beyond basic connectors like 'However,' and 'Moreover,' to smoothly guide the reader through your argument. This will enhance the cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Make sure to directly address the essay prompt in your introduction and reiterate your stance in the conclusion to emphasize your argument's relevance and your position. This strengthens the essay's task response.
task achievement
Employ more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. General statements should be accompanied by evidence or illustrations from real-life scenarios or reputable sources to bolster your claims and task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
While it's good to use complex sentence structures to demonstrate language proficiency, ensure that these sentences are clear and accurately convey your message without confusion. Proofreading for grammatical errors and clarity is crucial.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: