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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#tables #information #sales #coffee #bananas #five #european #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
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A quick glance at the tables
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 information about how much money was
saled
Correct your spelling
saved
 by
coffee
Use synonyms
 and bananas in five European countries in 199 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are twice as many
sales
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Fairtrade- labelled
coffee
Use synonyms
 in 2004 as
sales
Use synonyms
 in the
coffee
Use synonyms
 in 1999 and in Switzerland. In 1999, Switzerland was the superior contributor to
coffee
Use synonyms
 by earning three million euros, which was twofold and threefold of the UK and Belgium's achievements, respectively. In terms of Fairtrade-labelled bananas, in Switzerland, the number of
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2004 is three times higher than the number of
sales
Use synonyms
 in 1999, at 47
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and 15
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros respectively.
However
Linking Words
, Fairtrade-labelled
bananas’s
Change noun form
bananas
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased in 2004, in Sweden and Denmark. With regards to describing Fairtrade-labelled
coffee
Use synonyms
, in 2004,
Use synonyms
coffee’s
Change noun form
coffee
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 had increased in the given countries and the smallest
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 point was 0,2 in Denmark and Sweden but the highest
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 point was 18,5 in the UK.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fairtrade-labelled
  • sales figures
  • percentage increase/decrease
  • European countries
  • sales volume
  • notable trend
  • exponential growth
  • moderate rise
  • marked decline
  • comparative analysis
  • economic factors
  • consumer preferences
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