IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.

The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.
#centre #paris #company #restaurant #area #two #locations
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The map shows two proposed locations for the restaurant in the centre of Paris. The boss
desire
Correct subject-verb agreement
desires
show examples
 to open a new restaurant in the field.
Overall
Linking Words
, as we can see two potential locations
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
location
Use synonyms
 1 located in the north-western and
location
Use synonyms
 2 near the Eiffel Tower.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Use synonyms
location
Change preposition
in location
show examples
 1 there we can see a huge amount of variety to travel in the
cente
Correct your spelling
centre
 of Paris. It is close to Bir-Hakeim Bridge and the Maritime Museum with 8000 visitors per day.
This
Linking Words
 very convenient place, cause, people can feel great sitting
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the park and
breath
Replace the word
breathing
show examples
 fresh air.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
location
Use synonyms
 2
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is shown
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
perfect
location
Use synonyms
 near the Eiffel Tower with 16,000 visitors each day. It can lead to success and income for our restaurant and for his future. Which is located in
south
Add an article
the south
show examples
 part of Paris. People can enjoy
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
breathtaking
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
went
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to art
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
 to chill.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 centre located in
south-western
Correct article usage
the south-western
show examples
 and people can relax
going
Change preposition
by going
show examples
 there and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 time with
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 friends.
Submitted by bekzhan.akynbekov on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words location with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proximity
  • attractions
  • landmarks
  • boost business
  • public transportation
  • accessibility
  • upscale neighborhood
  • demographic
  • premium
  • menu items
  • competition
  • market saturation
  • rental costs
  • operational costs
  • profit margins
  • foot traffic
  • amenities
  • business offices
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