IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of better life but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in cities. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

#people #cities #search #life #city #difficulties #governments
Thanks to some economic or social reasons many
people
 want to live in city centers rather than living in rural areas.
Although
 living in
magapolists
Correct your spelling
megapolises
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 more opportunities to
people
, there might be some drawbacks too.
Correct article usage
The Goverment
show examples
Goverment
Correct your spelling
Government
 should
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 many good changes
such
 as decreasing the price of
houses
. Nowadays , so many
people
 have found that cities are the best place to live.
Although
 there are many job facilities in city centers, most
people
meet
Verb problem
are
show examples
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
. The demand for one job might be very competitive. Because of strong rivals , the
people
 who have got
an average job skills
Correct the article-noun agreement
average job skills
an average job skill
show examples
 or experience , suffer from unemployment.
On the other hand
, the government should introduce
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 law about decreasing the price of
houses
 . Because cost of the
houses
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 extremely expensive for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 who have got
low-income
Correct your spelling
income
show examples
.
For instance
, in Russia ,
hundread
Correct your spelling
hundred
hundreds
thousands
Change preposition
of thousands
show examples
 of
people
 are given
such
 type of
houses
. In conclusion, one of the main
difficulty
Fix the agreement mistake
difficulties
show examples
 for
people
 who are migrating to big cities is unemployment.
Submitted by temurbekberdiyev78 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Focus on wider coverage of the question prompts to fully address all aspects. This includes discussing various difficulties of city life beyond unemployment, and proposing multiple government measures for improvement, not limited to housing costs.
Task Achievement
Expand your answer to include more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your points better. This completeness aids in achieving a comprehensive response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance logical progression by planning your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs (each discussing a different point), and a conclusion. This structure helps in maintaining focus and organizing ideas effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Integrate a variety of linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs, thereby improving the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your conclusion summarizes the essay well, ensure both the introduction and conclusion are more distinctly defined to effectively encapsulate your essay's thesis and final standpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Metropolis
  • Rapid urban growth
  • Megacity
  • Urban sprawl
  • Housing affordability
  • Infrastructure development
  • Public transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Pollution
  • Noise pollution
  • Green spaces
  • Job market
  • Social cohesion
  • Community engagement
  • Safety measures
  • Crime prevention
What to do next:
Look at other essays: