The diagram below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and comparisons where relevant.
The diagrams give
the
information about the large fish called Correct article usage
apply
salmon
life cycle. There are 3 levels of Add an article
the salmon
salmon
’s life which Verb problem
apply
are
small, medium and adult.
Unnecessary verb
apply
Overall
, a small salmon
named fry
is 3-8cm ,Capitalize word
Fry
medium
Correct article usage
a medium
salmon
named smolt
is 12-15cm and Capitalize word
Smolt
adult
Correct article usage
an adult
salmon
is 70-76cm. Habitats of this
large fish changed as fish grow
.
Wrong verb form
grew
According to
the diagram , salmon
eggs
are contained in small stones of a slow-moving upper river. Eggs
are left there for approximately 5-6 months before grow to fry and these eggs
are placed under the reeds. After 5-6 months eggs
become fries , and habitat
Correct article usage
the habitat
change
to Fix the agreement mistake
changes
fast-flowing
lower river. Fry lives there for approximately 4 years , Correct article usage
a fast-flowing
then
it grows and it
becomes smolt.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
In addition
, smolts live in the open sea for 5 years, then
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
becomes
adult Correct subject-verb agreement
become
salmon
and they leave their eggs
in upper
river. It can be seen that how the life cycle of Add an article
the upper
salmon
continuesSubmitted by buyabuya201 on
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, eggs with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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