IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and comparisons where relevant.

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The diagrams give
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about the large fish called
Use synonyms
salmon
Add an article
the salmon
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 life cycle. There are 3 levels of
salmon
Use synonyms
’s life which
Verb problem
apply
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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small, medium and adult.
Overall
Linking Words
, a small
salmon
Use synonyms
 named
fry
Capitalize word
Fry
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 is 3-8cm ,
medium
Correct article usage
a medium
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salmon
Use synonyms
 named
smolt
Capitalize word
Smolt
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 is 12-15cm and
adult
Correct article usage
an adult
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salmon
Use synonyms
 is 70-76cm. Habitats of
this
Linking Words
 large fish changed as fish
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the diagram ,
salmon
Use synonyms
eggs
Use synonyms
 are contained in small stones of a slow-moving upper river.
Eggs
Use synonyms
 are left there for approximately 5-6 months before grow to fry and these
eggs
Use synonyms
 are placed under the reeds. After 5-6 months
eggs
Use synonyms
 become fries , and
habitat
Correct article usage
the habitat
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change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
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 to
fast-flowing
Correct article usage
a fast-flowing
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 lower river. Fry lives there for approximately 4 years ,
then
Linking Words
 it grows and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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becomes smolt.
In addition
Linking Words
, smolts live in the open sea for 5 years,
then
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
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 adult
salmon
Use synonyms
 and they leave their
eggs
Use synonyms
 in
upper
Add an article
the upper
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 river. It can be seen that how the life cycle of
salmon
Use synonyms
 continues

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, eggs with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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