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Writing Samples
Band 4

The table below gives information about a restuarant's average sales in three different branches in 2016

The table below gives information about a restuarant's average sales in three different branches in 2016
#information #sales #three #branches
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The provided tabular column imparts information about a restaurant’s average selling values in
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 three disparate branches in 2016. It shows the eat-in, take-away, number of transactions and
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 most popular items
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 three places
such
Linking Words
 as
Georgia
Use synonyms
Street
Use synonyms
,
Dunsmuir
Use synonyms
Street
Use synonyms
 and
Drake
Use synonyms
Street
Use synonyms
 in Vancouver.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of transactions
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 topmost in
Georgia
Use synonyms
Street
Use synonyms
in contrast
Linking Words
Drake
Use synonyms
Street
Use synonyms
 had the lowest business.
However
Linking Words
, the transaction value was lowest in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Dunsmuir
Use synonyms
Street
Use synonyms
 when compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two branches.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the most preferred dishes were chicken
burger
Fix the agreement mistake
burgers
show examples
 in
Georgia
Use synonyms
, Chicken wings in
Dunsmuir
Use synonyms
 and chicken pasta in
Drake
Use synonyms
. The sum total of trade was 854 in
Georgia
Use synonyms
 which was considered to be the highest, 750 in
Dunsmuir
Use synonyms
 and 390 in
Drake
Use synonyms
 which was the modest of all.
Besides
Linking Words
, the business value was
also
Linking Words
 lofty in
Georgia
Use synonyms
 which was $10.69 and $9.02 in
Drake
Use synonyms
 howbeit merely $5.61 in
Dunsmuir
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there was
difference
Add an article
the difference
a difference
show examples
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 dine-in and
take away
Correct your spelling
takeaway
show examples
also
Linking Words
. In
Georgia
Use synonyms
, the eat-in quantity was 405 but there were 449
take outs
Correct your spelling
takeouts
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, there were 358 dining and 392 food deliveries in
Dunsmuir
Use synonyms
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
Drake
Use synonyms
’s dine-in and
take-outs
Fix the agreement mistake
take-out
show examples
 numbers
had no
Verb problem
did not
show examples
 much
variations
Fix the agreement mistake
variation
show examples
 which were 200
eat-in
Correct your spelling
eat-ins
show examples
 and 190 parcels.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
Georgia
Use synonyms
 branches led
an elevated deals
Correct the article-noun agreement
elevated deals
an elevated deal
show examples
 and
Drake
Use synonyms
 had a shallow business.
Submitted by thilagaraj7007 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words georgia, street, dunsmuir, drake with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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