Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Doing
experimentation
on
animals
is a widely debated topic by humanity nowadays. Some people believe that it must be prohibited, meanwhile others think it has various benefits.
Experimentation
on
animals
, rodents
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
particular, is not limited to recent years. Indeed,
animals
have been used to evaluate different factors on living creatures for several years.
Although
this
attitude may seem unetical , the aim of these
trials
for developing drugs or vaccines ,which decrease the probable side effects on humans, is reflecting their importance .
However
, in recent years these kinds of research are overused rampantly for all kinds of products and the ethical aspects of these
trials
are omitted. Recently, there have been more people who have assumed these experiments bring us nothing but more violence in society. They claim that using
animals
for clinical
trials
should be generally restricted, and scientists have to exploit alternatives.
Although
there is no other way except
experimentation
on
animals
nowadays, technological progression may develop appropriate alternatives in the future.
Hence
, all unnecessary
trials
on
animals
,
cosmetic
Correct word choice
and cosmetic
show examples
products
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
example, should be outlawed, and
this
research method has to be limited to essential ones which might threaten human beings without them. In conclusion, we can't replace
experimentation
on
animals
as they play a vital role in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. More logically, we experience new diseases, and the only way to shield ourselves is to do
experimentation
Replace the word
experiments
show examples
on
animals
.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure but could benefit from clearer transition phrases and more explicit connections between ideas. Consider using phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'On the other hand,' to link sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, and they provide a good framework for the essay. However, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the key points more effectively and reiterating your stance in a more compelling manner.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but the evidence and examples used could be more detailed and directly relevant. Try to include specific instances or studies that directly support your argument. This will make your essay more persuasive and impactful.
task achievement
You've addressed the topic, but the response could be more complete by exploring the issue from multiple perspectives more thoroughly and by providing a more balanced view. Consider the ethical, scientific, and societal implications in more depth.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear but expanding on them with more comprehensive explanations and connections between your points and the essay question would make your arguments stronger. Aim to fully develop each idea before moving on to the next.
task achievement
You've included some examples, but they tend to be general rather than specific. Bringing in more detailed and relevant examples from research, studies, or personal experience will make your essay more authoritative and convincing.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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