Some people think that children should learn world history. Others believe that it is more important to learn the history of their own country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Ancient
history
is very important in growth
of a Add an article
the growth
country
. It has been argued by some individuals that the
children should have Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
knowledge
of global history
while
few people
believe that it is more necessary to learn the
past achievements of their own Change preposition
about the
country
. In my opinion, it should be mandatory for all the
educational institutions to make their pupils study both world and their own Correct article usage
apply
country
's heritage
.
Firstly
, many people
are of the opinion that the students should have the knowledge
about the global history
. Some young individuals aspire to migrate to other countries for their career
. Having the Fix the agreement mistake
careers
knowledge
of world's
Correct article usage
the world's
heritage
,
will help them to decide their future and set a career path for themselves. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, a country
can be great
destination for students who are interested in automobiles and Add an article
a great
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
country
can be a good place for people
who wants
to study technology. So, learning about the Correct subject-verb agreement
want
country
's past achievements are
very important for Correct subject-verb agreement
is
people
who are at their
young age to decide their path if they want to migrate to other parts of the world.
Change the word
a
On the other hand
, some people
think that it is very important for all the students to learn their country
's heritage
. Tourism is very incumbent to a country
's growth. If the children have the
Correct article usage
apply
knowledge
about their country
's archeological
achievements, they can spread the Change the spelling
archaeological
knowledge
to their friends in their workplace which will create an interest among other people
and as a
result
Add a comma
result,
country
's economic growth can be boosted. Thus
, making children learn about the
Correct article usage
apply
history
can be a huge benefit for their country
.
To sum up
, although
some individuals feel that is
very important to learn their
own Change preposition
about their
country
's heritage
, I believe that it is equally important to learn about the global past so that it can beneficial
for Add a missing verb
be beneficial
individual's
career.Correct article usage
an individual's
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. While the essay shows a good structure overall, try to improve the flow between ideas, especially within paragraphs, to strengthen coherence.
coherence cohesion
Introduce your topic and conclude your essay effectively. Your introduction and conclusion are strong, but make sure they fully encapsulate the main points and your opinion to tie the essay together better.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples. You mentioned a few instances, but expanding on these with more specific details can enhance your argument and make your points more convincing.
task achievement
Address the task fully by discussing both views and providing your opinion, which you have done. To further improve, make sure each viewpoint and your own opinion have balanced development and clear, comprehensive articulation.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. This can greatly enhance the depth of your discussion and provide a stronger base for your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.