Some people think government should not spend money on supporting artists and money should be spend on more important things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It
is argue
Change the verb form
is argued
show examples
that states should spend money on other necessary things rather than helping artists.
This
essay agrees with the statement because
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
most important things that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
needs to focus on
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
health
services and
education
awareness in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural schools.
Health
services are the main concern because people are not getting enough support from the
health
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
in the case of emergencies .
In other words
, if someone
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
injured in the family and
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
to
emergency
Correct article usage
an emergency
show examples
hospital
then
there would be a long
line up
Correct your spelling
lineup
show examples
of
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
patients . There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not enough hospitals available in the areas .
Therefore
,
Correct article usage
the governemnt
show examples
governemnt
Correct your spelling
government
should open more hospitals so that it would not strain on the
health
services provider
as well as
patients.
For example
, most patients in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Canada wait for
an hours
Correct the article-noun agreement
hours
an hour
show examples
to check with
doctor
Add an article
a doctor
the doctor
show examples
and in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
mean time
Correct your spelling
meantime
show examples
,
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
condition of
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
get
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
worse . Another reason is that the
government
should provide funds to the rural schools because better
education
is the basic requirement of the
students
. In rural schools ,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
could help by giving
education
to the
students
through smartclass which is
alternative
Add an article
an alternative
show examples
way to convey
message
Add an article
a message
the message
show examples
to the
students
and should provide enough resources like access to libraries
,
Correct word choice
and, internet
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
to improve their intellectual skills .
For example
, most of the
students
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural areas in India are still
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
standing
without using
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
and do not have access to basic
ameneties
Correct your spelling
amenities
. In conclusion ,
government
bodies definitely
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to support other important things
that
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
providing enough
health
centers and better
education
to individuals in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural areas.
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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coherence cohesion
Introduce a more structured approach to organizing paragraphs, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Develop a more engaging introduction and conclusion that better bookend your essay, presenting your thesis statement clearly at the beginning and summarizing key points at the end.
task achievement
Focus on fully answering the question by exploring both sides of the argument to some extent, even if you choose to agree or disagree strongly with the statement. This demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Utilize a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate ideas more precisely and make your essay more engaging to read.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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