You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your latter •Explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months •Say how your work could be done while you are away •Ask for his/her help in arranging it
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Dear Mr /Mrs
I am writing in order to ask for a favour of changing my workplace in terms of location
due to
an unpredicted issue that occurred recently.
As our company is international and we have different head offices in various countries which makes the possibility of relocating then
, I would like to request your agreement in this
regard.
Unfortunately, my wife is moving her workplace to London by the order of her firm for one year and we have a child who is absolutely dependent on both of us, Therefore
I kindly ask your permission to agree with my request to relocate and work in London head office for a year.
Given these circumstances, I will do my best to coordinate with the current office's colleague to carry on abandoned half-done tasks in order to deliver them precisely on the deadline. Therefore
, I will be grateful if you agree with my letter and sign it. I will definitely return to my own workplace as soon as my wife's mission is accomplished.
Faithfully yours
KeyhanSubmitted by keyhan454 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your letter follows a clear and logical structure. Begin with a polite introduction, state your main purpose, and provide the necessary details in separate paragraphs to maintain clarity. Your letter has a relatively good structure, but can benefit from more distinct separation of points in different paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Start your letter with a proper greeting, such as 'Dear [Manager's Name],' if known, otherwise 'Dear Manager' could be used. You have used 'Mr / Mrs,' which is not incorrect, but specifying the name if possible adds a personal touch. Also, ensure to close your letter formally. 'Faithfully yours' is used correctly, but more commonly, 'Yours faithfully' is preferred when you haven't addressed the manager by name.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to focus on providing a single idea or point per paragraph. This helps in maintaining coherence and allows the reader to understand your request better. You've attempted this, but your paragraphs can be more structured and focused on specific points for improved clarity.
Task Achievement
Your response completes the task - asking for a relocation due to your personal circumstances - and maintains a suitable tone throughout. However, to improve task achievement, ensure that each part of the question is answered thoroughly. Specifically, mention how you plan to manage your work more explicitly, perhaps by detailing the process of coordination with colleagues or how duties will be delegated during your absence.
Task Achievement
Your letter's tone is suitably formal and polite, which is appropriate for writing to a manager. To further enhance the writing tone, consider using phrases that express your willingness to contribute to smooth transitions, such as 'I am eager to ensure a seamless transition by...' This demonstrates proactivity and a strong sense of responsibility.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite