Too much emphasis is placed on going university for academic education. People should be encouraged to do vocational training, because there is a lack of qualified tradespeople such as electricians or plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
it cannot be neglected that nowadays,
people
going to universities are more, to get their academics rather than Use synonyms
who
are interested in vocational training. I do agree that skill trade Correct pronoun usage
those who
jobs
should be more Use synonyms
targated
as compared to academic studies. these going to be beneficial for all.
there are many reasons behind Correct your spelling
targeted
this
phenomenon that Linking Words
people
tend to do academic studies . Use synonyms
Firstly
, white Linking Words
color
Change the spelling
colour
jobs
. Many individuals love to do sitting Use synonyms
jobs
and they believe Use synonyms
its
better to get high salaries by doing comfortable Correct your spelling
it's
jobs
rather than Use synonyms
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
jobs
, Use synonyms
for example
: construction workers have to do work in all weather conditions even sometimes there is cold and too much hot outside. Linking Words
Moreover
, in society's Linking Words
eyes
Add a comma
eyes,
this
type of education is for less educated students or Linking Words
people
.
Use synonyms
on the other hand
, it could be more proficient for Linking Words
all
the world if they create Correct determiner usage
apply
the
balance Correct article usage
a
betwen
Correct your spelling
between
skill
trade Replace the word
skilled
jobes
and academic Correct your spelling
jobs
jobs
. Use synonyms
for instance
, a Linking Words
four years
university degree costs too much , Correct your spelling
four-year
while
one or 2 years of Linking Words
plumber
diploma can cut the cost by almost half of that high education's fees. Another benefit can be Correct article usage
a plumber
financially
profit Change the word
financial
like
Change preposition
apply
people
who are working under any company will only get raise whenever Use synonyms
company
wants , Correct article usage
the company
Linking Words
however
a person who is Add a comma
however,
electrician
or plumber can make his own money Correct article usage
an electrician
according to
Linking Words
demand
of work.
Add an article
the demand
To conclude
, there is no need to mention that in Linking Words
this
present era vocational study is much Linking Words
profitable
than academics and it will Correct quantifier usage
more profitable
costs
less as well.Change the verb form
cost
Submitted by jaspreetkaur45047 on
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Task Achievement
Focus on clarifying your main ideas with more precise language and avoid overgeneralizations. Make sure each paragraph introduces a distinct idea and expands on it thoroughly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a broader range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Try to make more explicit connections between your examples and the points they support.
General
Revise your essay for grammatical accuracy and vocabulary range. Errors and limited lexical resources can distract from the coherence of your arguments.