Some people think that sport teacheas chealdren how to compete,while others believe that children learn team work

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Although
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it is sometimes thought that
children
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may be taught how to compete by doing
sports
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.Other
people
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believe that
sports
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are teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
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children
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teamwork
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. In my opinion, I consider that
sports
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can teach youth how to compete. On the one hand , some
people
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think that
children
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may learn how to compete if they are practising one type of sport and I agree.
In other words
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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competition among
children
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can develop by doing extra
sports
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that is
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because when a group of young
people
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wins constantly, the other groups may be motivated to put more effort into proving themselves.
As a result
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, they can perform well athletically, as they have been influenced.
Furthermore
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, competition is a natural instinct in humans.
therefore
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, doing
sports
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will improve the way in
how
Correct word choice
which
show examples
children
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can compete.
On the other hand
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, it is often believed that
children
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who do sport can improve their social
skills
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, especially
teamwork
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. One reason is that doing
sports
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can encourage
children
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to deal with each other and highly enhance their
teamwork
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. If some
children
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,
for example
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, have taken part in a team sport, they may automatically develop their
teamwork
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skills
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. Another reason is that taking part in a
sports
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group can encourage the
children
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to put a lot of effort into dealing with each other and to greatly enhance their group performance.
Sports
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can always improve the
teamwork
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skills
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of
children
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consequently
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,
children
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can be more qualified to occupy jobs which need a lot of
teamwork
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skills
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.
To sum up
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,
while
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people
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can vary in their opinion. I think that
sports
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can push
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
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to compete against each other.
Submitted by dihme on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your score in coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay flows logically from one idea to the next. Use a variety of linking phrases and make sure each paragraph has a clear central theme. Additionally, aim to have a smoother transition between paragraphs to maintain the flow of your argument.
task achievement
For better task achievement, focus on fully addressing all parts of the prompt. Provide balanced arguments for both viewpoints before presenting your own opinion. Incorporate more detailed examples to support your points, ensuring that they are directly relevant to the topic at hand. This will help in presenting a well-rounded discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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