Some people think that sport teacheas chealdren how to compete,while others believe that children learn team work

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Although
it is sometimes thought that
children
may be taught how to compete by doing
sports
.Other
people
believe that
sports
are teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
children
teamwork
. In my opinion, I consider that
sports
can teach youth how to compete. On the one hand , some
people
think that
children
may learn how to compete if they are practising one type of sport and I agree.
In other words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition among
children
can develop by doing extra
sports
that is
because when a group of young
people
wins constantly, the other groups may be motivated to put more effort into proving themselves.
As a result
, they can perform well athletically, as they have been influenced.
Furthermore
, competition is a natural instinct in humans.
therefore
, doing
sports
will improve the way in
how
Correct word choice
which
show examples
children
can compete.
On the other hand
, it is often believed that
children
who do sport can improve their social
skills
, especially
teamwork
. One reason is that doing
sports
can encourage
children
to deal with each other and highly enhance their
teamwork
. If some
children
,
for example
, have taken part in a team sport, they may automatically develop their
teamwork
skills
. Another reason is that taking part in a
sports
group can encourage the
children
to put a lot of effort into dealing with each other and to greatly enhance their group performance.
Sports
can always improve the
teamwork
skills
of
children
consequently
,
children
can be more qualified to occupy jobs which need a lot of
teamwork
skills
.
To sum up
,
while
people
can vary in their opinion. I think that
sports
can push
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
to compete against each other.
Submitted by dihme on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve your score in coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay flows logically from one idea to the next. Use a variety of linking phrases and make sure each paragraph has a clear central theme. Additionally, aim to have a smoother transition between paragraphs to maintain the flow of your argument.
task achievement
For better task achievement, focus on fully addressing all parts of the prompt. Provide balanced arguments for both viewpoints before presenting your own opinion. Incorporate more detailed examples to support your points, ensuring that they are directly relevant to the topic at hand. This will help in presenting a well-rounded discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: