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Band 3.5

There is growing demand for vaccination services in many countries after the coronavirus. What problems can this situation cause? What are the possible solutions?

#demand #vaccination #services #countries #coronavirus #situation
Many people all over the world used to be vaccinated after the pestilence. The main problem of
this
 cause is
cure’s
Correct article usage
the cure’s
show examples
 side effects and the most viable solution is to increase standards before
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 vaccine
would be
Verb problem
becomes
show examples
 available
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the market.
Health
 practitioners said that the principle problem associated with the
last
 epidemic was
influence
Add an article
the influence
show examples
 of medicine on patient’s
health
 after it was used. They had to battle chronic afflictions
appeared
Correct pronoun usage
that appeared
show examples
 during
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 course of treatment. The result of
this
 was increasing pressure on the
health
 services sector and death cases.
For example
, a recent government survey found that hospital visits increased by 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
for
this
 reason. To tackle the problem the government should
put
Verb problem
set
show examples
 high standards for new grafting. During the coronavirus issue the administrations all over the world had to battle new challenges,
such
 as preventive care, enhancing hospital productivity and
to mitigate
Change the verb form
mitigating
show examples
worst
Correct article usage
the worst
show examples
 effects of the epidemic.
As one
Correct word choice
One
show examples
 of the most effective
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 to solve all these causes was
invention
Add an article
the invention
an invention
show examples
 of the new vaccine, but lack of time and the speed at which the disease spread invariably led to errors.
Such
 kind of mistakes
means
Correct subject-verb agreement
mean
show examples
 serious consequences. New rules could shed some light on
this
 difficult situation and allow people to be
surer
Correct word choice
sure
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
health
.
For example
, a similar initiative in Japan resulted in a 52
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 decrease in people calling
Add an article
the doctor
show examples
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
 because of
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
 of vaccination.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task response
To enhance Task Response, ensure that you directly and fully address all parts of the task. Offer clear, detailed examples and explanations to support your points, integrating a balanced discussion of both problems and solutions linked to the demand for vaccination services.
coherence cohesion
Improve Coherence and Cohesion by organizing your essay in a clear, logical structure. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs. Ensure that your introduction sets the topic effectively and your conclusion summarises the main points clearly, reinforcing your position.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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