IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Every year several languages die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there fewer languages in the world. To extant do you agree or disagree?

#year #languages #people #life #world
It
is generally acknowledge
Change the verb form
is generally acknowledged
show examples
 that some
languages
 vanish every year. Concerning
this
 issue, some
people
 are of the opinion that
this
 phenomenon makes our lives more convenient. I only partly endorse
this
 view as I demonstrate there are some alternative ways. Undoubtedly, there are some noteworthy reasons why some
people
 think that disappearing
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 tongues in society will
be makes
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 our lives easier. One of the representative reasons is that
efficiency
Correct article usage
the efficiency
show examples
 of communication increases.
For example
, whenever we travel small sized country, we have to learn their language to talk with native
people
However
, if only a few lingua
franca
Correct your spelling
francas
such
 as English and Spanish we can talk
each
Change preposition
to each
show examples
 other and read their
sign
Fix the agreement mistake
signs
show examples
 easily.
Moreover
, not only
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
show examples
 industry but
also
 it
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 effect on overseas business. Because, nowadays, most countries increasing overseas business, so
people
 who can have conversations without translators are required.
On the other hand
, there are some
people
 who disagree with
this
 view mentioned above. The most reasonable one is that we can not protect our history.
For instance
, if some tribe with
a mother tongues
Correct the article-noun agreement
mother tongues
a mother tongue
show examples
 is invaded by other
people
, we lose that tribe's history and culture and
then
, we will not find out anything about them.
Furthermore
, if some
languages
 disappear,
people
 who
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 vanished
languages
 have to learn new
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 and teach
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 next generation.
Last
 but not least, some
people
 lose their jobs
such
 as
linguistis
Correct your spelling
linguistics
linguists
linguistic
 and translators. In a nutshell,
although
 there are some valid arguments that the dying out of various
languages
 has positive effects on
Add an article
the
show examples
tourism industry, I believe the
preserve
Replace the word
preserved
show examples
languages
 should be preserved.
Submitted by wowoo04066 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. Your stance was somewhat unclear, which could confuse readers.
task response
Try to develop your arguments with more detailed and specific examples. The examples provided are somewhat general and could be more illustrative.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Use transitional phrases and topic sentences to guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and improve word choice. This will make your argument more persuasive and easier to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Consider including a conclusion that summarizes your main points and clearly restates your position. This strengthens the overall coherence of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Linguistic diversity
  • Cultural heritage
  • Language extinction
  • Communication barrier
  • Linguistic imperialism
  • Endangered languages
  • Language revitalization
  • Monolingual
  • Multilingual
  • Language preservation
  • Homogenization
  • Language policy
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Intangible heritage
  • Indigenous languages
  • Globalization
  • Dialects
  • Localization
  • Language documentation
  • Digital archiving
What to do next:
Look at other essays: