Many old buildings are protected by laws because they are part of a nation’s history. However, some people think they should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?

There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over conserving old-age
buildings
.
While
some claim that preserving abundant
historic
Correct word choice
historical
show examples
history
plays
such
a paramount significance role in the
history
of a nation,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the opposite makes a statement that
people
need to bring them down to make room for the new ones. In my opinion, it is imperative to protect ancient
buildings
meticulously and
history
should not hold back the way of progress. Without a shadow of a doubt, maintaining archaic
buildings
serves as a paramount important part.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
explanation for
this
might be that they can express the value of
history
as well as
a sense of national identity.
For instance
, Van Mieu Quoc Tu Giam, which is Vietnam's oldest university with beautiful architecture associated with
history
, can act as a connector to bridge the past and the present.
Moreover
, it is considered a historic testament to remind
people
of ancestral connections and offer
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
glimpse of the ordinary life of our forefathers.
Hence
, preserving antiquated
buildings
not only significantly provokes the patriotism of Vietnamese
people
but
also
greatly assists
people
to deeply take in national identity.
While
the redeeming features of conserving age-old constructions are widely acknowledged, the sake of progress cannot be sacrificed by
history
.
In particular
, It can improve the country’s economy since historical monuments can attract not only outbound tourists but
also
domestic
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
who pay to visit.
For example
, Thang Long Imperial Citadel, which is located on Phan Dinh Phung
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
, sells tickets to tourists to pay a visit to help them learn more about Vietnamese
history
.
Furthermore
, to become a tourist destination, it needs to hire more employees ranging from students to adults.
This
can be seen as a potential vocation opportunity for a lot of
people
to enhance
people
’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Therefore
,
history
should not impede the benefits of progress. In conclusion, old
buildings
should be preserved, as they have historical and artistic value
as well as
they would be a main drive to national economic strength.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each part of your essay supports your main argument. Try to avoid redundancy or repetition by explicitly linking your examples and explanations back to your main point. For instance, mentioning how preserving buildings protects cultural heritage in more detail would connect better with the examples you provided.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly expressed. Some sentences seem repetitive, and a few grammatical errors make the arguments less clear. For instance, use 'paramount' only once where it fits best.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which are crucial for a well-structured response.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as Van Mieu Quoc Tu Giam and Thang Long Imperial Citadel, are relevant and support your points effectively.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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