IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country
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In
this
Linking Words
Fix the agreement mistake
chart
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charts
Add a comma
charts,
show examples
 we can observe the changes
percentage
Use synonyms
 of ownership of electrical
devices
Use synonyms
,
in addition
Linking Words
 to
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
hours
Use synonyms
 of
house work
Correct your spelling
housework
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 per
household
Use synonyms
 per week. There are three
devices
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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in
percentage
Use synonyms
 of ownership per
household
Use synonyms
 which are, refrigerators,
vaccum
Correct your spelling
vacuum
 cleaners and
also
Linking Words
 washing machines. In 1920 almost zero
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of houses owned refrigerators
while
Linking Words
vaccum
Correct your spelling
vacuum
 cleaners and washing machines were at thirty and forty
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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. Refrigerators with the biggest
percentage
Use synonyms
 incline
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the first electrical device out of these three
devices
Use synonyms
 which reached one hundred
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1980. The next electrical device to be
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 all houses, was almost 20 years later
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2000. Washing machines
with
Change preposition
apply
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in contrast
Linking Words
 to the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 1920
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 had not reached 100
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
yet
Correct word choice
apply
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untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2019 and is around 70
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2019. Despite the
increase
Replace the word
increased
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number
Use synonyms
 of electrical
devices
Use synonyms
 in
previous
Change the article
the previous
show examples
 chart, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 of chores in each
house hold
Correct your spelling
household
show examples
 had been reclining since 1920. The highest
Use synonyms
hours
Correct quantifier usage
number of hours
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
put
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 housework was at 1920 with 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per
household
Use synonyms
 and the lowest
number
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 of
hours
Use synonyms
 put
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 housework were 10
hours
Use synonyms
. With the increasing
number
Use synonyms
 of electrical
devices
Use synonyms
 in each
household
Use synonyms
 to more than 70
percent
Use synonyms
 the
hours
Use synonyms
 of housework had been lowered to 10
hours
Use synonyms
 per week per
household
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by houmannoraste80 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, devices, number, hours, household, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
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