IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You have reccently moved to another city but your bank has your old address and continues to send all the communication there. Write a letter to your bank Branch. In this letter mention: -Where you have moved? -What problem are you facing regarding the bank's communication? -What do you want them to do regarding old communication already sent to the wrong address

#city #bank #address #communication #branch #-where #-what
Dear Sir or Madam, The reason I am writing you
this
 letter is as I am sorry for the Branch.I would like to
communication
Replace the word
communicate
show examples
them
Change preposition
with them
show examples
 again, but I do not have the opportunity.
This
 is why I want to disconnect. Already sent me the wrong address. When I stayed here in Branch. I had two houses
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because my father bequeathed me
one
 house, That's why
one
 of my houses
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a
problem
 with the bank, I am unhappy because it is a big
problem
.
However
, I can manage the
problem
 I went to Branch as my father left me an inheritance from there.
This
 year I had a lot of
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
.
For example
, there is a
problem
 with the bank and there is a
problem
 with the documents of
one
 of my
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
. I need a lot of people to help me, as I need someone to show me the way.
One
 step at a time, I will find a solution to the
problem
. If anyone can help me, I would appreciate it. I am waiting for your reply. Yours faithfully, Rustamova Dilnoza.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity and relevance in your letter. Focus on the task at hand, which is to inform your bank about your new address and request action regarding previous communications sent to the wrong address.
coherence cohesion
Structure your letter logically. Start with an introduction, followed by a paragraph explaining your current situation, then describe the problem, and conclude with what you expect the bank to do.
task achievement
Adopt a more formal tone suitable for writing to a bank. Avoid using overly casual language or irrelevant information that does not directly address the issue at hand.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas or parts of your message. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or aspect of the situation.
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