In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In some states, there is an increasing trend within the young generation that prefers to attend vocational training rather than
entering
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enter

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university. I think
this
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trends'
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trend's

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advantages are more outweigh than disadvantages because
this
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kind of
trainings
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training
pieces of training

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cost-effective than universities, and it saves time.
Firstly
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, attending vocational
trainings'
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trainings

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cost
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costs

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would be cheaper than
fees
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the fees

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of
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at

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universities,
therefore
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, it is cost-effective for youths. Especially,
adolescences
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Adolescents

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who do not have enough money for
university
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a university

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degree
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degrees

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is better
to go
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off going

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vocational courses because some of
trendy
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the trendy

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majors'
trainings
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training
pieces of training

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are offered
by
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for

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free or cheaper than universities.
Therefore
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, it is
great
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a great

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chance to be prepared as a skilled worker.
For instance
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, in Mongolia, construction workers are trained by free in Builders
college
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College

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of Mongolia. Another advantage is that
its
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it

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saves time because most colleges usually offer semesters which means usually the duration years.
As a result
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, youth can hold professional
certificate
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certificates

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shortly and reach their financial independence.
For example
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, my one of friend is living in good condition compared to others because she started her own salon after her graduation
of
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from

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hair-dressing
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a hair-dressing

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course
while
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others were still going to their university.
On the other hand
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, there
is
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apply

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might be some drawbacks
such
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as low demands of job positions and
low-reputation
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low reputation

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.
However
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, as long as
skilled
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a skilled
the skilled

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person can tackle these perspectives without suffering. Their skill and qualities will be their indicator of success,
therefore
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, doing
on
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apply

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the
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apply

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work-based training is more valuable than academic
pursue
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pursuit

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.
To conclude
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, there should not be
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a judge
the judge
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judge
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judgment

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on youngsters who want to be skilled workers
instead
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of achieving academic integration.
This
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is because on the
job based
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job-based

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training courses are cheaper, and it offers financial freedom for skilled professionals.
However
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, there
are
Unnecessary verb
apply

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might be some constraints, even though anyone can overcome
this
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situation with their talent and true passion.

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task response
Be sure to provide a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages, as the question asks if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Your argument tends to focus more on the advantages, leaving the counterargument underdeveloped.
coherence and cohesion
Create a clearer distinction between paragraphs to ensure each one focuses on a single main idea. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
language proficiency
Check your essay for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better clarity. Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely.
task response
To thoroughly address the prompt, ensure that your introduction explicitly outlines the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss. Your conclusion should summarily weigh these to state if one outweighs the other, reflecting the question's requirements.
task achievement
Use examples more strategically to support both sides of the argument, showing not only how vocational training can be beneficial but also addressing and countering potential drawbacks more effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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