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Writing Samples
Band 5

WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #people #risks #lives
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Taking adventures both in
professional
Correct pronoun usage
their professional
show examples
 lives and private daily lives may be significant for
people
Use synonyms
 to
access
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
 better achievements.
However
Linking Words
, it can not be ignored as
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon may bring positive and negative influences at the same time. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 are more likely to demonstrate their potential and the ability of creativity when they are exposed to
risks
Use synonyms
, as
risks
Use synonyms
 usually provide
people
Use synonyms
 with a sense of emergency which is able to push them to be more concentrated and
thus
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 they may come across some helpful new ideas in their workplaces or just at their own homes.
For example
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,
people
Use synonyms
 who take part in
risk
Replace the word
risky
show examples
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
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 are able to earn a large amount of
monry
Correct your spelling
money
due to
Linking Words
 the courage of taking adventures in the commercial area.
As well as
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 who like travelling to some unknown places as their
hobbies
Fix the agreement mistake
hobby
show examples
 in
theri
Correct your spelling
their
 spare time, they are more likely to have the chance to get close to some breath-taking views which other
people
Use synonyms
 may have not seen ever.
On the other hand
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,
risks
Use synonyms
 often link to danger which is likely to reduce the succeeding rate. If a person is not capable enough to manage some
riskful
Correct your spelling
risk
 tasks, he or she may face difficulties in resolving newly emerged problems.
For instance
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, it can be hard for a person to finish some
adventural
Correct your spelling
adventure
 working tasks or matters happening in his or her daily
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
, especially for
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 who is used to
stick
Wrong verb form
sticking
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a conventional routine. If there is a risky task, he or she is less likely to be creative and courageous to solve
this
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 unknown mission.
Although
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 the individual
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
 effort
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 finding methods to work out, the outcome will
also
Linking Words
 be
dissapointed
Correct your spelling
disappointing
 because
risks
Use synonyms
 can not bring
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
 rate quite frequently. In conclusion, taking
risks
Use synonyms
 is sometimes helpful for
people
Use synonyms
 to come up with useful ideas and gain the opportunity to be successful
although
Linking Words
 it may
also
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 lead to exposure to danger which may damage the progress
due to
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 difficulties.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay more effectively by clearly defining your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the paragraphs follow logically from one to the next.
Task Achievement
Develop your argument further by providing more concrete examples and analyzing them in depth. While you have provided examples, delve deeper into how these examples specifically support your points.
Task Achievement
Address the task directly by making a clearer statement about whether you believe the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages. The reader should not have to infer your position.
General
Check your spelling, grammar, and punctuation to ensure your essay is as clear and understandable as possible. Errors can distract the reader and make your argument harder to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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