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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The pie chart below show the main reason why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

The pie chart below show the main reason why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
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The pie chart illustrates the primary reason why agricultural
land
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 is less productive
whereas
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 the table compares these
causes
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 in three various regions of the world during the 1990s. Looking from an
overall
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 perspective,
it is clear that
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 Europe observed more
land
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 degradation than the other regions by mainly
deforestation
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. There were four
causes
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 of worldwide
land
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 reduction. 35% of
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land
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the land
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 was degraded by over-grazing.
Over-cultivation
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 and
deforestation
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 had a similar trend.
However
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,
over-cultivation
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 was in second place with 30%
while
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 the proportion of
deforestation
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 made up 28%. Other
causes
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 affected less prevalent
land
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 degradation with 7%. As for the table, 23% of
land
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 degradation was seen in Europe where
deforestation
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 accounted for nearly 10%.
Over-cultivation
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 and over-grazing were other
causes
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, 7.7% and 5.5% respectively. In Oceania,
over-cultivation
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 was not witnessed and the first cause was over-grazing with roughly 11%. In North America,
deforestation
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 impacted less
land
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 reduction with 0.2%. In
this
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 region, the percentage of
over-cultivation
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 was more by about twice that of the proportion of over-grazing, at 3.3% and 1.5% respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words land, causes, deforestation, over-cultivation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduction" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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